Marriage over and done with….I have started unleashing again…

It has been a long sabbatical indeed from blogging. The euphoria of marriage and honeymoon has subsided. I have come back to Bangalore along with Kuhu and rejoined office. Life has taken a new turn. Not too long ago, I used to have a heap of free time for pursuing blogging, reading and social networking sites; not anymore though.

However, marital life has been very sweet for the two of us to date. We have always enjoyed each other’s company immensely in the past, and even now, things are no different. She has been flexible in adjusting herself to the completely different lifestyle that I follow here. This has made things very simple for me. I feel that I am with my best friend also, rather than with my wife alone. We roam about and laugh around like two college kids in love; the austerity of a husband-wife relationship has not set in yet, and we would never like that to happen.

It is very refreshing to see that she is expressing thoughts so candidly, which I have always wanted. It is great that I have managed to start writing again, although this would not be too frequent. I do not complain however. I want to savor God’s most precious gift with all my heart.

Marriage looms, but things are not as exciting…

Days just pass by like anything. It seems just a few days ago that there was about 6 weeks left for marriage. Now it is just one week. ONE WEEK ONLY! The big day looms near, but the sizzling excitement is just not there. This may be because I have not reached home yet, thus not being able to gauge the excitement and anticipation out there.

A big change is also approaching my life. Probably I am engrossed in aligning myself according to those changes that I can anticipate. Hence, I guess there is no mood for excitement. Marriage has always been a big test of character, courage, mental toughness and education, and mine would be no different.

It may also be that I have been talking to Kuhu for seven months now, hence we know quite a few things about each other. Hence, that suspense factor is not there anymore between the two of us. We have seen the best and worst of each other, and hence now, it is our obligation to fit in smoothly into each other’s lives. Probably this is an advantage in today’s age where you can speak to your would-be spouse before marriage and gauge their likes and dislikes, so that you can adjust accordingly.

Once I reach Kolkata however, I am sure the fever of the occasion would take off drastically. Scores of people thronging our apartment in Hindusthan Park would enlighten the festive spirit. Till then, it’s a wait for me. After the euphoria and the ecstasy of the event subsides and the dust settles in on the 25th of November 2010, it is fingers-crossed however!

Asian Games 2010 has been a rude shock to us……….

The euphoria that the success of the Indian athletes created at the Commonwealth Games (CWG) 2010, has subsided into a rude reality of Chinese dominance in the ongoing Asian Games 2010. Just a month back, India was dreaming of becoming a sporting nation by 2015. It grabbed 100 medals in the 10-day event including 38 gold medals. They had pipped England to the second spot in the overall medal standings. The shooters, wrestlers, paddlers, boxers, archers and shuttlers were as good as unbeatable.

In Guangzhou, however things have taken a dramatic turn. China has already claimed over 100 medals in only three days of competition including 62 gold medals. That shows how far India is behind this sporting giant. Even countries like Korea, Japan, Chinese Taipei and Hongkong are ahead of us in the medals tally right now. Our sure-shot gold mines, Gagan Narang and Abhinav Bindra, have also bowed out with a silver medal only. Although our boxers, wrestlers and Saina Nehwal are yet to start their campaigns, India will in all probability fall way short of 100 medals that they managed to achieve in CWG 2010.

Hence gentlemen, it is time that we get realistic about the capabilities of our athletes on the world stage. Bagging a handful of medals in the CWG does not prove that we can challenge China. I do not think that we can do that even in the next 20 years. It is also time for some reality check in the aftermath of a thumping CWG triumph, which was our best ever performance as a country in any multi-nation sporting event. We should start the process of grooming champions immediately. We should stop going over the board with just ONE Saina Nehwal, Abhinav Bindra and Pankaj Advani. We need hundreds of them, and that too quickly.

Oh God, please return to me my self…

“Oh God,
During the last year, I have tended to lose myself as an individual. I have lost self-control. I know that I should not be shouting at people. I know that I should not be using slangs, no matter how high the provocation might be. I know that I should not be insulting people. I know that I should be respecting people with dignity. For most of the time in my life I have followed every bit of these. Suddenly I have lost it.

As a result, my upbringing is being questioned; the education I have received is being treated with suspicion. Last week, one of my most treasured well-wishers aroused this realization that I had to be careful in the future, so that I could command respect. I started to understand the caveat and implement it accordingly, but again I seemed to have forgotten it today. I have always wanted to make my mom proud, but today I have bowed her head in shame once again.

I read the holy books. I know how you have defined DHARMA. I know how your esteemed devotes should carry themselves in life. I try but I cannot do it all the time. When I do follow your path, I gain admirations, adulations, praise, respect and success. When I stray, I gain nothing but brickbats and disrespect, harsh words and curses. When things calm down, the burden of repentance becomes unbearable. I feel like hiding myself forever. I lack the courage to even ask for forgiveness from the concerned persons.

God, you know what I am. Please help me to get back my true self, who would allow me to create my own dignity every time, and not just sometimes. Please help me to behave in a manner that befits my respect towards you, which befits my lineage to my respectable family and the venerated institutes that I have gained education from. Please help me to be tough, like I have been when you took away baba from me. Please help me to be independent, emotionally and materially, like I have been throughout my life. Please help me to remain a strong devotee of yours forever.

The joy of giving a pleasant surprise….

If there is one thing, which brings utmost happiness to anybody, then a “surprise pleasantry” certainly has to be a strong contender for that honor. It may be a gift pack, it may be a surprise party, or it may be a surprise holiday to a destination, which has not been previously disclosed to the recipient. The satisfaction that you get when they give you that million-dollar smile and the accompanying ecstasy, on getting that surprise, is beyond words.

The same ecstasy engulfs you when somebody else gives you a surprise that you have longed for. I have always enjoyed giving surprises to people but it is not often that you get an opportunity to do so. However, a few days back, I did manage to do it. The sudden burst of joy in a person adds a different dimension to happiness. It spreads to his/her family members as well, in no time.

In the tensed age that we live in right now, it is very satisfying indeed if you can contribute even a few hours of happiness to a group of people. You need not require an occasion to do so. Ultimately, life is about enjoying moments with small gifts and little smiles, isn’t it?

Never lose dignity while in romantic relationships

It is very nice indeed to get yourself totally committed to your love. You court your fiancée or lover, you give her surprises, you cajole her when required or even when it is not required, you exchange sweet nothings over phone or sms and you tend to make cozy promises for the future. However, many people, especially men, tend to lose their dignity and self respect, to a large extent, in the process.

I know of a person who has gone through this phenomenon. Before he fell in love, he was very dignified, very jovial, never asked or expected a single thing from people around, always held his head high, was tough under all circumstances, was independent and was humble. However, once the lady came into his life, he began to expect love and care. The guy who used to enjoy his free time alone suddenly started to get irritated, even if there was a ten-minute delay in an sms reply. Passing out time turned out to be a big challenge. Tempers started flying thick and fast. Insecurities about their relationship started to creep in to him.

One fine day, when both of them had a difference of opinion, the girl started shouting at him saying, “You were the one who was MORE interested in continuing with the relationship, not I. You took my mobile number so that we could talk, I did not take yours. You lack richness of character and confidence, in both our relationship as well as in yourself. I am confident of my strengths, but you are not. That is why you shout when I challenge you. You cannot live without me.” These words opened up his eyes. He woke up into a completely new realization of his lost dignity, and self esteem.

Probably the lady was right. The man forgot that he had abandoned his own strengths, which made him stand up on his own feet, which made him a champion over so many years, in the madness of love. He was a great believer in God. He did not stop loving his ladylove after that incident, but he felt that the hurt and the ignominy of those words were God’s way of arousing realization in his soul. He was thankful that he had been able to rediscover his true self, which had made the lady like him in the first place.

The moral of the story is irrespective of how deeply you fall in love, you should never lose your dignity and make yourself cheap in front of your lady. She would never respect a man who would always be willing to beg for her love, instead of commanding it. This is especially true for a man who has been a role model in the past and achieved so much. They do not ever deserve such disrespect from the opposite sex.

Speak out to make people take note of you…

Big occasions test the best and the toughest. They have always done so. Whether it is performing on a big event, or arranging and taking responsibilities for a mega event in your household or office, it is a huge task. It is not for everyone, it is not for the weak hearted, it is not for people who cannot keep their words and it is not for people who possess a confused psyche.

There are so many trivial things to be thought about, besides the big issues, that it can drive the hell out of even an organized mind. Things can get even tougher if you tend to depend on outsiders to get your job done. If these people have a sniff that you do not have too much backing from family members, they tend to pounce on you. Absurd demands are made, illogical adjustments are expected from you and you tend to feel like a slave to their fancy whims and thoughts.

Such occasions demand a savior, who can be rude, straightforward and even shameless at times, and who can give you advice. Tough situations require tough words and these people provide you with that. Sometimes to get yourself out of a hole that others have dug for you, you need to be outspoken yourself or take help from outspoken people. They can save you a lot of pain and, at the same time show people around you that you are no pushover.

Some people change colours so effortlessly…

Some people are not as polite and humble as they pretend to be or as they are made out to be. For the sake of getting a job done, innumerable individuals change colors and adorn a canvas of a pseudo-character. As you get to know them better, you understand that they would use every weapon to pinch you if and when the opportunity arrives.

If you have been innocent enough to help them get over any trauma or weakness, then you may have done serious blunder. It may so happen that these people may use the same strength that they draw from you, to hurt you. By the time you realize it, it is too late. You regret, bite off your fingers, rage for revenge, but you are helpless. All promises, made in happy times, are thrown out of the window.

You feel that the person you had loved, respected and who had an endearing presence in your life, has transformed. In actuality however, you have been fooled left, right and centre. However, life goes on and you tend to accept everything with a smiling face and a strong heart. I guess this is what they call “adjustment.”

Diwali has a special significance this time…

Deepavali, also known as Diwali, is going to be celebrated across the country tomorrow. The day itself would be different for me this time. Contrary to previous years, I would stay put in Bangalore itself, instead of going to Mysore at Tutu pipi’s place. This is also the first time in my life that a loved one has sent me an assortment of goodies for Diwali, all the way from Kolkata, as a token of love for me.

For me, the Festival of Lights has special connotations this time around, and its realization is slightly different from the previous years. The lights around always signify the enlightening of life with the rays of peace, prosperity and happiness. It also signifies radiance of the soul with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The light of the diyas is supposed to obliterate darkness from within ourselves. However, this time, it would also signify the light that would brighten up my life after Kuhu steps into it in just above two weeks time.

Married life is a two-edged sword. It has its share of bliss as well as its share of misunderstandings and adjustments. The light of knowledge, realization and patience is always a boon under such a situation and, to me, this Diwali signifies the advent of that light. I really wish that the light of tomorrow would symbolize the brightness that both of us would bring to each other’s lives hereafter.

Respecting individuals, rather than relations is easier for me….

Over the years, I have always tended to love and respect individuals, but not relations. There are many people who do it just the other way around. If there happens to be a very close relative of mine, probably even a blood relation, who happens to have some serious drawbacks in behaviour and which I know is not good, I cannot develop any respect for him/her. The relation itself cannot command respect to me.

I am a man of principles and I feel that I do have a thorough understanding of what is fair and what is not. I have huge respect for my mother, and even if that lady had not been my mother, I still would have respected her as a person. That is what I mean. Few people are very close relatives of mine, but I hardly ever talk to them, because I do feel that they are not good enough to talk to. On the other hand, there are many people who are just acquaintances, but who have commanded a lot of respect from me over the years. Among them, a few of them are actually quite a few years younger to me. Eventually for me it is the person, and not his/her age or the relation we are into, which drives the depth of respect.

I have heard people who say that “I understand that my xxx relative has so and so defects, but I still love him/her deeply enough, and I cannot tolerate even a rude word directed at him/her, even though those words might be ultimate truth.” To me, such words are baffling. Some people keep defending the mistakes of their close ones. They just cannot accept the fact that right is always right and wrong is always wrong, no matter who it comes from. I understand that it feels bad when somebody chastises your loved ones, but you should also analyze the reasons for their doing so. Instead of defending their loved ones in public, some people should go and rectify their mistakes in the confines of a drawing room. Sometimes it works.

At the end of it all, I feel that nobody should be biased towards any relationship. If one feels that their loved ones are not doing the right thing, especially if they are repeating the same rudeness or mistakes in behaviour, then appropriate reactions should be given. Blind defense does not help anybody. Ultimately it is about shunning the path of evil and treading the path of truth. Parashurama killed his father, Krishna killed his cousin Shishupala in a packed court and Arjuna demolished the Kauravas almost single handedly in Kurukshetra. Hence, the sky would not crash on our heads if we go against some of our loved ones, who have forgotten what righteousness is all about.

Why do people respect me?

Sometimes I wonder that, if I had passed my Masters in engineering from another college, instead of an IIT, then how would life have treated me right now? Would I have commanded the same respect from society? Sometimes I also wonder that as a human being how good or bad I am actually. What are the three things that people respect me or love me for? Is it because I am an IIT ian, is it because of some of my individual qualities, is it just because I am the son of a very socially venerated and loved couple, or is it a combination of just everything?

My gumption has never given me a definitive answer to this question. I am not sure whether I should ever be thinking about such redundant issues, but a deeper dive into oneself obviously opens a can of worms inside the mind. A lot of questions keep cropping up that may not have a direct impact on daily life.

Irrespective of your actual nature, pragmatic diplomacy sees you through almost all of the time. However, the kind of attributes that civilized society looks for in an individual, to treat him with respect even when he is not any more, is what has enthralled me for quite some time. Being subservient would win you sympathy and love but would allow people to get on top of you very easily. Being pernicious does not help either. Temerity would help you to quell your competitors, but would create more enemies than friends. Smugness may win you adorations among one set of an audience but chastisement among another set.

Most attributes I just mentioned are contradictory to possess and hence confounding. The easiest thing to do however is to keep it simple, be good unconditionally, and, protest against evil in the rudest possible terms. Some questions have no answers and it is better if we do not search for them either. As long as we do not hurt people in any way anytime, we are fine. Rest I leave to God.

Identify special talents within yourself and ignore illogical criticism…

Broadly speaking, there are two kinds of talents that any human being can possess in life. One is that of creative performances, which cannot be taught to anybody beyond a certain degree. These include fluent speaking and writing skills, skills of aptitude and intuition, skills of expression, skills of cleanliness and organization, skills of empathy and understanding and the skill to make people smile. Let us call these attributes Talent Type A.

In another type, you can teach a person to do a given thing in a particular way every time, and through hours or days of practice, he/she masters it. Such things include singing, dancing, driving a vehicle, operating any other machine or electronic gadget, cooking, solving mathematics problems in school, sewing, and building vocabulary in one or more languages. Let us call these attributes as Talent Type B.

If given a choice, I would always wish to possess the Type A talents, because you cannot master those even after years of practice and lecture. These are basically habits or caliber that any man is born with. I have also noticed another trend. You tend to get criticized more often for the lack of Type B talents. People who do the criticism fail to understand that, for example, a person who is not a good cook can become one in a few months of practice. However, a person who cannot express a given thought in proper words can never be taught to do so, no matter how much training you impart to him/her.

Sometimes in my free time, I reflect on what kind of criticism I have faced all throughout my life. At that point of time, I felt that those harsh words were justified because I was really weak in certain things. Now if that happens, I smile to myself, because those weaknesses have been converted into strengths after hours of dedication. Most of the time, if your are really talented then you would find that in the ultimate analysis, you possess most of both Type A and Type B talents, but the so-called “experts” can only boast of the latter.

However you should never react and tell them “Hey buddy, it’s a pity that you cannot write even a paragraph in English properly.” That goes against the culture of champions. This attitude of restraint and humility is what separates the good from the great ones. Besides, empty vessels tend to make more noise anyway, what is the big deal about it? The thing is they know that they can never be as good as you are, and hence they try to vent their frustrations by throwing harsh words at you. That’s the way the world lives day after day.

Forget the Olympic bid, nurture champions for the future…..

After a grand hosting of the Commonwealth Games (CWG) 2010, in spite of its innumerable administrative loopholes, India has set its eyes on bidding for the 2020 Olympic Games. The outstanding performances of many of its athletes further strengthen its confidence in doing so. However, put bluntly and blatantly, India is still not ready to bid for the Olympics.

The mess that we created in organising the CWG 2010, which is far less complex and gargantuan an exercise than the Olympics, clearly shows that the bidding would be a waste of time, energy and money. A solitary individual gold medal in 88 years of participation proves that it is imperative that we use all our resources to nurture champions for the London Olympics in 2012. The annals of Indian sports writing have been full of complaints about the system, corrupt administrators and lack of talent among athletes. Every four years, it has become a collective national ritual to blame everyone else when found exposed badly in front of the global mirror of the Olympics, only to move on and repeat the same catharsis four years later.

A bid for the Olympics, to me, is another step towards clapping our hands in glee and return to our daily dose of cricket once the euphoria recedes. We should look to use the medals won in CWG 2010 as a catalyst to help correct years of frustration at India’s poor sporting performances and result in the creation of sporting infrastructure for future generations of athletes.

The Asian Games 1982 which was held in Delhi unfortunately could not leave behind a positive legacy in terms of nurturing an all-pervasive sports culture in India. Against such a backdrop, the CWG should stand up and set an example. We do not need another mega event on Indian soil so quickly, but we do need a set of champions across all sporting disciplines over the next five years, so that people do not deride us when we do bid for the Olympics sometime after 2020.

Filtering out good moments of the past gives you bliss…

I had written in one of my earlier posts that a loving wife is God’s most precious gift. The reason for that is, not only does she shower you with love and affection, but she also gives you peace of mind and she boosts your self-confidence. One of the main ways that she does this so easily is by helping you to learn to filter out good moments of the past and remember them.

If you are able to it, then you would never be depressed in your life. You would not be jealous of the happiness of others, you would not frown unnecessarily at your wife, nor would you hamper your professional performance by staying grumpy. At the same time, you would create more happy moments for yourself and your family. So it is a win-win situation for you.

There are people like me who have used their sharp memorising skills in excellent fashion for academics and professional achievements. However, it is this same attribute that creates mayhem when you want to forget some bitter memories. This aspect has also been covered in one of my posts. However, there are not many fortunate people around who have the blessing of a fiancée like Kuhu, who is always trying to help me to get rid of bitter experiences and help me smile every time. The results are finally starting to show, and it is a feeling from within.

In few of the many days that we have spent together, there have been traces of misunderstandings here and there, as is common in any relationship. However the great thing is she has made me forget all that and keeps on reminding me only the sweet memories, the laughter and the jokes. I am slowly beginning to discover the secrets of true happiness, and that is all because of her untiring and fructuous efforts. She has been subservient in her presence but domineering in her impact, and that is where she has made herself special.

It is not that I never have a modicum of negative thoughts now, but I have definitely learnt to differentiate the diamond from the glass. It has given me bliss and peace of mind. I can now enjoy every moment, even the dull ones which would have normally angered me, with exuberance and remembrance of treasured experiences.

The Grand Bold Man of Indian Sport…..

In the Indian sporting arena, if you think of passion for playing for the country, enthusiasm, fitness levels and involvement in his game, you would not struggle to find the only name that fits all these attributes. Leander Paes, even at 37, remains the same, as if he has only just begun playing tennis.

I would not list down his achievement over the past 20 years here. That is for everybody to see, especially the innumerable upsets that he has created in Davis Cup, and his exploits in Men’s Doubles with Mahesh Bhupathi. However, what set him apart from the others of his ilk are his indomitable spirit and his desire to excel in whatever he does.

I had read an article long back about the Barcelona Olympics in 1992, where India had a terrible outing. The Chef-de-Mission for India during those Games, the late Mr Ashok Ghosh, had said that Paes, who was only 19 that time, was the only Indian athlete who had self-belief and was showing passion on the field. This in itself was a tremendous certificate.

Leander has always given his best performances whenever he has played for India – Davis Cup, Olympics and Asian Games. It seemed that for most people Davis Cup put pressure on their shoulders, hindering them from a good performance. However, for Leander it put pressure under his shoulder, which propelled him to lift himself. At a time when Indian athletes were not known for their spirit, he inspired, and there lied his greatness. He is still playing extremely good tennis at the ATP circuit and continues to do India proud at the world stage. Youngsters have a lot to learn from him.

If you hurt somebody, then have patience and mend his heart….

In my previous post, I had written about how harsh criticism, especially from somebody who you love and respect, can be so damaging to you psychologically. It would really test your self-belief to the brim to get back to your normal confident self. In that post I had talked from the perspective of the victim of the criticism. Today, I would say something from the point-of-view of the perpetrator.

If you have criticized somebody dear to you very harshly, hurt his/her ego in a fit of anger in spite of loving and respecting him/her under normal circumstances, then you know that it would be very hurting to him/her. In that scenario, he/she may react in many ways. He/she may hurt you back, may shout at you for no reason or, if that person is extra sensitive, then he/she may not even talk to you for a while. That period would be very difficult for you to handle.

Under such circumstances, I would say it would be best for you to speak to him/her in very sweet and friendly terms, and have some patience. Even if he/she does not pick up your phone, or does not reply to your sms, or declines to meet you in person, just persist with your sweetness. Express feelings which suggest that you are really sorry for what you have done. Sending ecards, cute sms, or whatever that person likes is a very good way to mend hearts. A very natural feeling for you is to get frustrated because you cannot improve his/her mood after the incident, but you should never indulge in it. Remember that all your efforts are towards getting back the person you love so deeply. With time, even the other person would realize that whatever you had said was not meant to hurt him/her but only an expression of your bad mood on that particular moment. He/she will forgive you eventually and things would get back to normal.

However the lesson to be learnt from such incidents is that you should never hurt the ego of your loved ones, and make general statements about their character, even at extreme situations. For example, you can always say that “You have behaved very badly today” but you should never say that “You are very rude and insensitive.” Sensitive individuals with a high degree of self-esteem tend to remember such words for a long time, which might be detrimental to any relationship.

Harsh criticism tests your self-belief…

Holding on to self-belief when faced with a barrage of criticism is the virtue of the wise and the trait of a tough mind. When you begin to understand yourself well, you know what you are good at and what you are not good at. You understand your strengths and weaknesses to a large extent. In such a scenario, if anybody tries to claim that you are not good at some particular thing, which you know you are good at, then that can be very insulting and hurting.

I have faced such scenarios a few times in life, the latest one being very recently. I can tell you that if such harsh criticism comes from somebody you love and respect, then it is very difficult to accept. This is all the more true for people like me who have a high degree of self-esteem. It is very easy to accept criticism of any of your weakness, but never so of your strength. However, if you are a mentally tough individual, you tend to put such baseless allegations behind you and move on. I have always felt that the best way to answer criticism, from anybody, is to keep the mouth shut and to let performances speak. If somebody tells me that I lack confidence, which is totally a false statement, the only way that I can prove that person wrong is by being myself and staying confident in whatever I do every time.

The one thing I believe is that, most of the time, people criticize you harshly because they are jealous of your success. They want you to feel depressed and lose your self-confidence. They are stopping your way by baseless loose talk because you are on the right track and they feel insecure. The best way to counter it is never to lose your confidence and self –belief, no matter what they say, and carry on with what you do best. If you keep doing well, all people who had earlier made a mockery of you or insulted you will die to meet you and show you respect.

I have heard stories about how much Tagore was not given his due respect at one point in his life by the people of the West. He was sharply criticized and some people even went to the extent to say that Tagore cannot write even a line of poetry. That is why when he had received the Nobel Prize in 1913 for Gitanjali, he had written a song in Bengali “Ei Monihar Amai Naahi Shaje.”, which was a humble self recognition that “I am not worthy of such high rewards.” My point is, if people can show disrespect to a genius like Tagore, they can do so to you as well. You may not win a Nobel Prize to shut their mouths, but you can certainly lead a confident and successful life by never letting go of your self-belief.

KBC has brought back old memories…

The iconic Kaun Banega Crorepati (KBC) episodes, in its entire new avatar, are back on Indian television sets. The difference is however that Amitabh Bachchan himself has grown ten years older since he appeared first time in the show, and of course the channel in which the show is aired is different. Although KBC had launched two more versions, I was not part of the audience to these. Two days back, I was witnessing KBC ten years after the first time it was masterminded by Siddhartha Basu in the year 2000.

I remember, back in 2000 KBC had created a huge hype and fan following because it was one of the first reality-shows on Indian television. Besides that, the curiosity that Amitabh Bachchan created was immense. It was after a long hiatus that he was being seen on the screen, and the first time on small screen. I was just a year into college that time and the excitement was even more. Every weekday at 9 pm, Maa, Baba, Dada, Thakuma and myself used to gather in our drawing room, leaving aside everything starting from studies to gossip to kitchen. It was a true family gathering. Every question asked on the show was discussed and we used to fight over the answers that were displayed on screen. If Baba said “Option B tai thik”, I used to oppose and opine that “Na go, Option A tai hobe.” Maa used to get irritated sometimes and shouted “Uff, tora ektu chup korbi ebar, ektu shunte dibi amai?”Every correct answer was cheered as well, by all five of us.

I remember once that a person from Kolkata won Rs 50 lakhs on the show and that was the highest winning cash prize that time. Till that time nobody had reached the magic figure of Rs 1 crore. The excitement that we were feeling for that gentleman, even though we would not get a penny of that, was amazing. KBC had become religion to the middle class household.

Ten years on, as I have started viewing the KBC again, quite a few things have changed in my personal life as well. Baba is no more, Maa does not enjoy such shows anymore, Dada has got married and is about to become a father in a months time, we have shifted into our new flat, Thakuma is suffering from incessant memory losses and I am staying alone in Bangalore. The moments of a hilariously filled drawing room are only in my memory. Right now, it is only I, and my empty drawing room here in Bangalore who absorb the special TV show, which had given our family one more reason to smile ten years back.

This Durga Puja was extra special…

It was only yesterday that I came back to Bangalore after spending five days in Kolkata. The festival of Durga Puja had engulfed the minds of millions of Bengalis, both here and abroad, during this period. The crowded streets, the highly innovatively designed pandals, the “Bonedi” pujas, 24 hour live TV coverage by different channels and the worship ritual itself were enthralling, as they are every year. This year however, was extra special.

Normally when I am in Kolkata during the pujas, I spend a lot of time hopping the pandals throughout the city. This time, it was a lot different. Barring one day (Ashtami) when I spent almost the entire day in Kuhu's house, I was with Kuhu alone, away from the crowd, away from the madness and away from gazing eyes and curious smiles. This puja allowed me to come even closer to Kuhu emotionally. We spent a lot of time together talking, kidding, laughing and of course sometimes fighting too! However, every moment was special.

I also had a rare opportunity to witness the puja in Kuhu’s home - the respected “Chatu Babu-Latu Babur Bari” at Beadon Street on Ashtami. I have always enjoyed the pujas in a “Bonedi Bari”, which are traditional and orthodox households of Kolkata with a true flavour of Bengal. People of north Kolkata always give you a feeling of heritage, a feeling of pride and happiness that comes from being a Bengali. The traditional attire that the family members adorn themselves with, and the hospitality they provide is amazing. On top of that there is an ownership and intimacy in the way that they conduct the pujas. That is really pleasant to the eyes and senses of any true Bengali.

Kuhu and myself spent the last Nabami evening together on the banks of the Ganges in Baghbazar. The curve that the river takes towards Howrah from the Dakshineswar side is just amazingly picturesque. Looking at that, you never seem to get lost for words, and we never let that happen. Finally at 8pm, when we thought that we should turn towards home, it was so painful.

She could not to come to the airport to see me off the next day. Hence the last time I saw her face was at 9 pm on Nabami night, at the junction of CR Avenue and Beadon Street. Devotees wish their mother Durga good-bye with tears of joy on Vijaya Dashami. However, there were two lesser mortals standing on the mouth of an alley in north Kolkata, one day before, bidding each other’s idols goodbye with sobbing hearts, marking the end of a wonderful and memorable stretch of five days.

Celebrating 100 steps to Unleashing Myself……

It might be trivial to many, absurd to some and inconsequential to a few, but the 100th post for my blog “Unleashing Myself” is very special to me. These are little milestones that I have always cherished and this one was no less. A hundred articles that were posted by me over the last three months have helped me to understand myself even better. It has also given me confidence that I can express my opinions reasonably well in words. I have grown beyond just writing testimonials for my friends in orkut, and adding good captions to all the photographs that I have uploaded in my profile.

I had never written, for any purpose, so extensively before the creation of my blog. This was a major reason that in spite of the journey having its ups and downs, it was very satisfying indeed. During these 100 steps, if so I may call it, I have written about issues, which I have had strong and intense feelings for. I have talked about the most precious individuals in my life – Kuhu, and Maa; I have talked about how much I miss Baba who passed away two years back; I have talked about burning social issues; I have talked about the institution of marriage; I have talked about some very important behavioral aspects that any individual should develop; I have talked about sport; I have also expressed myself about some of the greatest souls that have done India proud over a period of time – Tagore, Ray and Kishore Kumar; I have penned two short stories on a romancing couple who are having a turbulent relationship; and last but not the least, I have expressed some things about myself as well – how I have managed to stay alone all this while, how much I miss Kolkata, how much I have enjoyed life at IIT, what is the vision that I have for my future and of course my experiences of bachelorhood and staying alone.

Usually I used to write one post per day for my blog, but there have been days when I have not been able to gather my thoughts and hence did not write anything. Kuhu has been a real inspiration for me during this period. In fact, she was the only one who used to give me daily feedback about the quality of my writing, the topics themselves and, of course, some additional comments that she might have had. There were a few topics that were suggested by her also. Along the way, I have received constructive feedback about my blog from quite a few people. I have really enjoyed all of that.

Through my blog, as I mentioned earlier, I have been able to express all my feelings that I might not have done through speech. I have always enjoyed writing and I have always tried to keep my posts simple and easy to understand. The intention has never been to show off my English vocabulary to the audience, but it has always been my endeavor to express a given idea in the most appropriate form thorough effective use of the language. I have always believed that the best way to capture interest of any reader is to use simple language so that people do not need a dictionary when they do read my posts. That is the best way to reach out to the masses. However, unknowingly sometimes, the language has been a bit esoteric, and I really apologize to all readers for that.

Quite a few optimistic well wishers have suggested to me that in the future, if I do get sacked from an engineering job, I can very well turn out to be a writer! Comparisons have been made to Chetan Bhagat, who is also one such individual who gave up a lucrative engineering-management career for his passion towards writing. Right now, I must say, that such contemplations are far fetched. However, I would definitely continue to pursue my interest in writing through my blog, and then take life from there. Hope that all respected elders, Kuhu, Maa and my friends would always stand by me and shower me with blessings, love and goodwill, as they have done till now, to help me continue on this sojourn.

We have mastered the art of forgetting…….

The week gone by proved that how short public memory can be. It showed that even the biggest traumas are not indelible, and can be wiped out by new events. You got the feeling that an entire nation has hit the delete button on their memory simultaneously. Let us take the Commonwealth Games (CWG). Today we celebrate the Games and look forward to winning medals so that it can be a befitting reply to our history. The hatred against the British that fuelled our freedom struggle has long vanished. We have forgotten the Jallianwala Bagh massacre and many other atrocious incidents. However we do remember the trains, schools, colleges, post offices, churches, the architecture and the English language that the British had left behind. The latter has in fact enabled us to open up to the modern world, to science and technology, which we would be forever indebted to them for.

Now, take the Ayodhya verdict. Even before it was announced last week, we knew that whatever happens, India has moved on from 1992. In less than two decades, both Hindus and Muslims have set aside the contentious issue that killed thousands of men, women and children. Despite all efforts by certain political parties to keep the issue alive and sore, it is now dead. Everybody, particularly the young yearn for peace and progressiveness today.

Coming back to the CWG, I am sure that after two weeks of hysteria and India’s gold medal rush, we will forget Suresh Kalmadi and the most shameful and corrupt set of events that preceded the CWG. That our collective memory is getting shorter and shorter is also exemplified by the fact that the Pakistani contingent at the CWG got the biggest ovation after the Indians in the opening ceremony. It amazed me that, we speak so bitterly against Pakistan on every international platform for exporting terrorism to India and destabilising Kashmir, yet we love their sportspersons so much, their actors, singers and even their Page 3 people.

I am not surprised either at the fact that a nation which once hated Mohammad Azharuddin would vote him back as an MP; or in fact an Ajay Jadeja would be a cricket analyst in one of the leading TV channels even after the ignominy that he was handed over by the BCCI. What about the four wrestlers and the two athletes who failed the CWG dope test month? They are all back in the Indian contingent once the CWG has started. After all, we are implementing the first principles of our holy book – forgive and forget.

Mohali Test Match has really been refreshing to all fans…..

In one of my earlier posts I had written about the fact that Test Cricket needs some serious rejuvenation through creative rules and innovative administration. Well, if we keep having Test Matches like the one just concluded between India and Australia two days back, then we do not need to change anything. This Test match has proved that Test Cricket is alive and kicking.

This match can boast of quite a few special components to it – one of the closest finishes in the history of the game, a riveting display of talent by both sides, an epic battle between the two best sides in the world and of course a war of words on the field. However, perhaps most importantly, it was a palate cleanser. After the sordid match fixing allegations and counter allegations in England, India’s last gasp victory was an opportune reminder of the spectacle that the game can provide to all its fans.

The occasion was also a timely reminder of why Test Cricket is still considered rightly as the pinnacle of the sport. With its fluctuating fortunes that included at least four reversals in momentum, its period of consolidation succeeded by phases of frenetic play and individual contests, this Test Match provided a rhythm, a gathering and release of tension, that the shorter formats cannot hope to match.

For this tour the itinerary has already been fixed. However for future Australian tours to India, BCCI should definitely consider to shelve bland ODI fixtures in favor of an extended Test Match series of four or five matches. India and Australia have never produced a dull match and as two giants of the game they would definitely provide the much-needed fillip to cricket’s recent crisis of credibility.

Mahalaya has always been special…

Today was Mahalaya, the day which marks the start of “Debi Paksha”, a 15 day lunar period culminating on a full-moon day on Kojagori Lakshmi Puja, according to the Hindu calendar. Within these two weeks, Bengalis celebrate their most coveted festival of Durga Puja. In effect, Mahalaya marks the advent of the mood of Durga Puja. Hence this day has always aroused special feelings in me.

When I used to stay in Kolkata, I always started the day of Mahalaya by listening to the immortal voice of Birendra Krishna Bhadra. His soaring recitation of Mahishasura Mardini (Annihilation of Mahishasura, the Buffalo Demon), which is a collection of shlokas and songs broadcast by the All India Radio (AIR, Kolkata) from 4 am in the dawn of Mahalaya for two hours, has always been and would always be one of the best pieces of rendition that any Bengali would ever listen to.

Unfortunately, since 2005, I have never had the good fortune of listening to this grand piece of music because I have moved out of Kolkata. However, today was different simply because Maa was present here in Bangalore and she never wants to miss Mahalaya on AIR. Hence I decided to exercise my volition and download the piece from the net well in advance and play it on this auspicious day. When I started played it exactly at 5 am, it felt as if I have gone back to Kolkata; the feeling was extraordinary. One golden voice of Bhadra totally negated the aspect of geography and location in my life.

Suddenly I started feeling that Durga Puja is round the corner, a feeling which in normal circumstances would have hardly crossed my mind, if I had not listened to the recitation. The propinquity that I have towards my roots, in spite of a physical distance from my birthplace, became prominent today.

The one thing that I have missed today though is gazing at Mother Ganges on this day, where people perform Tarpan Rituals for their deceased ancestors. It is truly an endearing site. On top of that, the sheer view of the serene and pristine Ganges with sunlight glittering on the waters is a pleasure to behold anytime. Even then, after a long long time I can say that, although I have had to attend office here today, Mahalaya has struck all the right chords in my life.It was special indeed.

India has to stand up against child abuse…..

Distractions of the ongoing violence in Kashmir, and the skeletons falling out of the closet of the CWG have led us to almost forget the shocking incidents of child abuse that have rocked our country. In Delhi, a school van driver allegedly raped, sodomised and drugged three children aged between 8 and 12, who were entrusted to his care, for a period of 18 months. We have given no attention and exposure to this heinous act.

There has always been a general public reluctance to confront the entire issue of child abuse, which to me is the most repugnant and unforgivable of crimes, even more so than murder and rape. In our country, a child, in the form of Bal Krishna and Bal Ganesha, is worshipped. Such detestable acts against such innocent beings are absolutely criminal. In the western world, even the Catholic Church has been shaken at its roots by the exposure of widespread paedophilia amongst its clergy, but in India, we seem deliberately to look away from this most shameful of perversions,and turn a blind eye to it.

Although child abuse is horrifyingly common in India, it has been criminally underplayed here too. Sexual abuse apart, children here are also subject to economic necessities which compel them to do hard manual labour, often in hazardous and brutal conditions, in order to survive. It has become a very common sight indeed that children are begging in the streets and I am very sure that they are made to do the same by some heartless and ruthless thugs.Although India has the RTI Act and the largest number of anti-child labour laws than any other country in the world, it also has the largest number of child workers.

It is time we step up our conscience and vigilance too, start implementing the plethora of regulations that already exist prohibiting such disgraceful and cowardly acts towards infants, and stop the future of our country from being brutalized, sodomised and tortured.

Money and fame should never carry our cricketers away…

Young Indian cricketers of the past two decades have miserably failed to a significant extent on money handling matters, as well as in matters of keeping their foot firmly to the ground when financial offers are just too lucrative. The monetary incentive that the young fellows receive for playing a Test match, an ODI and a T20 match are just phenomenal. Add to it the IPL madness and the Champions League T20. The commercial endorsements are additional. There are many cricketers who debut at the age of 20-23, and at such an age, if you are paid so much, then you are bound to lose your head.

The only cricketer who has been an exception to this thumb rule has been Sachin Tendulkar. Even after he has achieved so much for 20 years, even after Sir Don Bradman had compared Sachin to none other than himself, he is still as modest as a child. That is why he is still scoring centuries whereas somebody like a Yuvraj Singh is struggling even to make it to the Indian squad, forget the starting line-up. I mean, Yuvraj is a classic example of what one should not do when he is doing well. Instead of concentrating on the game itself, I feel the fame and the glory just carried him away until the latter got the better of him. Similar is the case with Sania Mirza. She was so carried away by the glamour and glitz of the Page 3 magazines that she forgot the game, which had catapulted her to stardom a few years back. Now there is nobody to cajole her except a defamed Pakistani cricketer. Sachin has never allowed that to happen to him though.

Athletes from other disciplines from our country are never exposed to so much money so quickly, although sometimes they achieve a lot more than cricketers. That is why they are much more consistent in their performances. Viswanathan Anand has been the World Champion in chess for so many years now, but he maintains such a low profile. It is really worth emulating. In women’s boxing, MC Mary Kom has won the World Championship for 5 times in a row in her weight category. Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi have continued to make India proud on the tennis courts year after year. Saina Nehwal, although she is just 20, is a role model for me. No matter how many tournaments she keeps on winning, she is so disciplined and modest. The kinds of words she utters in interviews are so refreshing. You feel that here is an young girl who is only concerned about her badminton and not about which brand she is endorsing.

I feel that cricketers should always take a lesson or two from other sportspersons in our country as well. In that case we would not lose talented cricketers from performing consistently at the international level. The BCCI should also conduct money-handling courses in the NCA for the young budding cricketers of our country, so that they do not get used to flash-in-the-pan performances and do not get carried away with money and fame. This kind of initiative is highly imperative in the current sporting scenario in our country.

Team sport creates tremendous bonding…

If you happen to be working with a group of people with whom you do not bond well at all, with whom you have constant bitter altercations or differences of opinion which turn sour, then engaging in team sports with them is the solution to your problem. There are many companies who organize such team sports as part of their HR initiatives to build team spirit. Believe me, it works miraculously well.

When I joined GE a few years back, as any new joinee would, I did not interact with too many people. There were around 75 people in our team then, and it was simply not possible to talk to and be friendly to every one of them. However, in the course of time, I have participated in quite a few tournaments like cricket, football and volleyball, which are team sports and require team spirit to succeed. On the field, you always want to win and you do not care whether you get along with a guy personally, if he happens to be in your team in the sport. You want to help each other out so that your team wins.

In doing so, you subconsciously develop a bonding with different persons, which actually sustains itself in your workplace as well. This is of tremendous value when you are into some project together. You tend to remember all the good times that you must have had on the field, the strategies that might have won you a point or a match, and the enjoyment you must have had after defeating the opposition. This makes to actually fulfill your technical deliverables far better than when you do not have any team building exercise. This was how we developed camaraderie among students of different departments and hostels when we used to be in IIT. That is why they say that sport is a great leveler as well as a great uniter.

Ray’s characterisations were unique and extraordinary….

If I am not wrong, Satyajit Ray has directed around 35 films and 2 documentaries. I have not had the good fortune to view all of them. However, the one thing which has amazed me about all of Ray’s films that I have watched, apart from his rare ability of uncluttered storytelling, is his unique characterisations.

The first character that comes to mind is that of Lalmohan Ganguly under the sobriquet of Jatayu, which was enacted by Santosh Dutta in the Feluda films. The character was neither total comedy, nor was it complete austerity. It did not bore the audience with foolish jokes, but enthralled them with witty humour. In 1996, Sandip Ray tried Rabi Ghosh, Anup Kumar and Bibhu Bhattacharya in the role of Jatayu, but all of them failed miserably. They failed to understand what the character was all about although they were outstanding actors in their own right. This exemplifies the genius of Ray in choosing actors for his characters.

The amount and clarity of thought that went into Ray’s characterisations can be gauged from the fact that he used Uttam Kumar, the best actor that Bengali cinema has ever produced, in just two of his films. Suchitra Sen never acted in any of his films. It is not that Sharmila Tagore, Aparna Sen and Madhabi Mukherjee were better actresses than Suchitra, but the fact was that Satyajit Ray did not ever think of reputations, but did think of the impact that the actor would have in playing a particular character on screen. That is why he has managed to create immortal characters like Maganlal Meghraj (Utpal Dutta), Gupinath and Baghanath (Tapen Chatterjee and Rabi Ghosh respectively), and Prodish Mitter (Soumitra Chatterjee).

Nobody can forget the impact that Dhritiman Chatterjee had in just five minutes of screen time in Agantuk, or the magic that Tulsi Chakrabarty and Utpal Dutta had created in Porosh Pathor and Agantuk respectively. There were many outstanding actors and actresses in those days, but I cannot think of anybody else who could have enacted those characters any better than the names I have mentioned.

I mean, people like Tapen Chatterjee, Dhritiman Chatterjee, Pradip Mukherjee (Jana Aranya), Mamata Shankar (Shakha Proshakha, Agantuk), Swatilekha Chatterjee (Ghare Baire, Kamu Mukherjee, Haradhon Banerjee and Shailen Mukehrjee were superstars in their own right, but they have been immortalised by Ray. Such was the greatness of the man that he could transform even lesser actors into outstanding performers, and one would never be able to reproduce them on screen again, apart from ray himself. That is why he was the greatest film maker that India has ever seen.

Media should be more responsible…..

Media hype on different issues, sometimes even before events occur, can really put you off your senses as it is such a potent medium of communication. Sometimes I feel that issues should not be blown out of proportion. It may wreak havoc even in places where peace would have been a certainty. Media can make a break a life. It may praise people unnecessarily and prevent them from sustaining brilliance; it may even rebuke innocent people and inflict permanent damage as well.

Before the Ayodhya verdict was declared a couple of days back, from almost a fortnight before that, there was such a huge anticipation that was created, that the government was forced to deploy even IAF choppers, leave alone the army and paramilitary forces in sensitive areas of the country. However, in Ayodhya itself, the ground situation was perfectly normal throughout. Just because of the media hype, schools, colleges and offices were forced to shut down for 48 hours. It was totally uncalled for.

Last year when the swine flu epidemic broke out in India, you could not open the newspaper or switch on a TV channel. They were spreading panic. You felt afraid even to touch your family members. When a source finally revealed the miniscular proportion of patients affected by swine flu compared to diseases like malaria and cholera, for which no panic is ever created among the public, you felt the redundancy of the entire exercise.

The CWG fiasco was blown out of proportion. It is true that the organizing committee did not conduct the preparations of the games well, but a blatant exposure of the shortcomings, printing pictures of filthy toilets may have been avoided. It just created a gloomy image of India globally. Issues could have been resolved internally. At the end of the day, the CWG 2010 would be held successfully anyway, but the media could have at least controlled some damage.

There have been so many instances throughout history where a bit more restraint by the media would have been so handy to prevent extreme unrest and inconvenience. Terrorists, who deserve nothing but whiplashes, get so much global attention just because of the media, but we forget birthdays of freedom fighters like Bhagat Singh and Jatin Das in the process, which is a shame. Hope that in the years to come, our media, which is so powerful, would show some responsibility as well, and use their influences constructively.

A Common Entrance Test for admission to colleges……

A proposal to conduct a common entrance test for admission to all central universities at the undergraduate and post graduate level has been mooted. It seems that even senior ministers of our government are backing it. Irrespective of the specialisation that the student wants to adopt, the test would be same for every student and it would test aptitude skills.

Right now, there are some colleges which conduct entrance tests for admission to undergraduate courses, but they are strictly related to the specialisation being adopted by the student. This is in addition to the weightage that they give to 12th standard results. Although the importance of aptitude in modern day education cannot be overemphasized, still there are many students who have a special flair for a particular subject, especially languages, which they cannot reproduce in an aptitude paper. Hence if the new policy gets implemented, it is these students who would get affected and eventually lose out.

I guess that it would be very difficult for the universities to design a single aptitude paper that can test the cognitive abilities of students across so many disciplines and interests. Students opting for science or commerce backgrounds would be properly judged but I do really have my concerns for the language streams. The idea of a centralized and standardized admission procedure is a very prudent one, but I guess it has to be really fine tuned by the concerned authorities before being implemented. After all, we are talking about the careers of so many bright young minds which would be at stake.

Developing friendship in romance is very important….

Many of you would have heard the lines of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, when SRK says that “Pyaar dosti hai”, which means that “Love is nothing but the culmination of an extreme form of friendship.” This is so very true.

When they do fall in love, the first thing that most couples forget is the aspect of friendship in their relationship. Even I forget it sometimes. I have seen, and also heard that the best of couples, who stay together for 50 years or more or till one of them dies, are also the best of friends. There is no tension, tremendous honesty, no hiding of facts and lots of happiness around. Romance is an obvious corollary to such an ambience. Unfortunately what many couples do is exactly the opposite. They strive for romance, physical intimacy and fulfilling of expectations. That is why there are so many differences of opinion everywhere.

When I do speak to Kuhu just as my best friend, which she is anyway, I enjoy it tremendously. It gives me a feeling of completeness; it gives me a belief that nothing can ever go wrong between the two of us. We crack jokes like hell, we laugh, sometimes we also discuss serious issues, but the common factor is we completely open up to each other. However, whenever expectations take precedence over friendship, romance is lost in the process. There are heartbreaks, arguments and eventually protracted grief.

One would be amazed by the fact that a couple can get so close to each other emotionally if they compliment their romance by unconditional friendship also. I have witnessed this in my own relationship many a time. Today morning was one such instance when we talked about a hundred different topics, starting from films, family to my office and ultimately ourselves. We laughed all the way through. Such mornings make my day. This is the secret of happy companionship.

Hitting where it hurts most….

Revenge is highly condemned in civilized society. The holy books do not prescribe it either. However, man cannot put a leash on his instincts, no matter how cool headed he/she is. Some people take revenge instantaneously – like a word for a word, a slang for a slang or a slap for a slap. Some people wait for the opportune moment, which in some rare cases even takes years, but when they do come, give absolutely no room to the victim to recover. This is what I call “Hitting where it hurts most.”

There are many people who play with your emotions. They force you to become dependent on them through their deeds, and once you do get dependent, they ignore you. In the process you become cheap. Such things anger some people a lot. I have seen a person who had been going through exactly a similar situation, but he did not react initially. He absorbed all insults, and a few weeks later, turned the scenario upside down. The person who was giving him the pain was facing the pain this time, even to a greater extent.

The problem is however when the person who hurts you is very close to you. Sometimes in those cases you cannot hit back with a devil’s ferocity, but still I feel it is a shot worth trying. Revenge is not recommended at all, for you are always taught the virtues of tolerance and brotherhood by your parents. However, if you do decide to hit back some day after you have exhibited extreme tolerance, then do not react and shout. Plan, devise, contrive and then hit hard at the softest areas so that the other guy can really feel the pain and the insult that you had felt some day. God, please forgive me for saying so.

The reticence of some people becomes suffocating, even irritating…

In one of my earlier posts, I had expressed an opinion that it requires skill to make people express themselves in front of you, especially those people who take their own sweet time to open up and get friendly. Since you have been gifted with a rare ability to make people speak their minds out to you, the onus is on you to do it, and you should enjoy doing it. I have tried all my life to do it, but gosh, sometimes it drives the hell out of me, and I feel like “To hell with them, I am not talking to those guys again in my life.”

As a person who expresses his feelings so naturally and effectively, and who tries to make people his own quickly, I feel so disgusted, irritated and angry when I see people persistently being unnecessarily formal in their interactions in personal relationships. Mind you, this is in spite of months of effort put in through light-hearted and jovial conversations so that they are comfortable with you. Just like they are getting to know me first time, I am also doing the same, but there are many people who just dump the responsibility of creating camaraderie to the other. The most they can do is smile when they see you in front of them. Is that enough to start a friendship of a lifetime? It is not unfortunately.

It is these fellows, most of who are well educated and “modern”, who do not make even an inch of effort to make you comfortable. The funny thing is, that your elders will always blame you for the fact that you have not been able to become friendly. This just prompts for all hell to break loose, especially if all good work has come from your side. I feel that there should be a limit of providing them with the ease and comfort of talking, and sometimes they should be made to feel uncomfortable as well. In that case they would get a taste of their own medicine. It should serve them well. Sometimes people are so used to getting undue importance that they are totally oblivious to their responsibilities. I think it is time to teach them a lesson or two in man management skills.

Ability to communicate is always a boon…

Proper, clear-cut, timely and candid communication is a boon in every sphere of life, especially when things are not in favor of you. There are not many people around who are good communicators. There may be good speakers, but all good speakers are not necessarily good communicators. Communication to me is all about saying the optimum at the right place and the right time. Sometimes you have to go on talking for an hour to explain the perspectives, sometimes you can also just be silent and yet communicate.

Whenever I have faced friction in my love life, communication has not only seen me through, but it has also paved the way for a peaceful and happy future. Sometimes you have to explain things to people like a Montessori teacher, assuming that they are toddlers. The pain that you inflict upon yourself while doing this gives you the gain of a stronger relationship with that person whom you are talking to.

To communicate well, one has to be a clear thinker because clarity of words comes through clarity of thought. A soft tone, mental maturity and good prowess of language are obvious accessories, which however can never be taken for granted in an individual. However, in all this, I assume that the person in front of you is willing to understand and implement what you are saying. Otherwise every effort can be futile.

I am grateful to God that I have been blessed with reasonably good communication skills, although I keep myself open to improvement every time. Life teaches me a lesson every day, and I try to use those to sharpen my skills to understand people and address their issues through proper dialogue if they do require me.

You cannot stay alone forever…

In one of my earlier posts, I had written that how you can be alone and yet not be lonely. Well, that particular statement had a corollary, and that was, no matter how occupied you keep yourself, you can never be alone forever. There has to be an “expiry date” of staying alone. I have crossed that about 6 months back unfortunately.

When I was a kid and was amongst my mom, dad, brother and other relatives at home, I always used to feel that “Oh God, when can I start staying alone and have things done my way.” My dream came true when I was selected to an IIT five years back. I was literally jumping with joy at the prospect of seeing the world all by myself. Time passed, I had the time of my life in IIT for two years. I got a job in Bangalore and the dream continued. Till about six months back I was enjoying every bit of my solitude, but no more.

I write my blog, I surf, I sing, I cook, but I hate to stay alone. Gossiping around with friends does not interest me any more. Life has become abject and it seems that the days here in Bangalore have been left derelict. Intransigence has taken a strong grip on my temperament. I just hate compromising on any thing. Things change drastically however, when I do visit Kolkata and find my family on the horizon. I get back my usual jovial self, there is no rankle, and no carping. I enjoy life.

Probably the effect of staying all alone for so many years has taken its toll. There are people who stay all alone for a greater period of time, but for me I think the time has come to move out of this kind of lifestyle. It is good that somebody special is coming as a welcome addition to my life in two months time. Hope things change for the better.

Reactions to the honest confessions – The usual story….

This is in continuation to one of my earlier posts on “Confessions of a harmless mind.” After receiving her boyfriend’s email, which contained his innermost feelings of extreme intensity and romance, she pondered for quite some time on what should she reply to him. The day went on, the evening passed, she had dinner with her parents and younger brother (bhaiya) and then she thought that it was time for a befitting reply. She switched on her laptop; the internet took some time to get connected and then she started to pen down her email.

She wrote, “Hi, I can understand your feelings fully. However I do not think that you understand my feelings at all. It is true that we would get married in the near future, but it is an even bigger fact that my dad, mom and bhaiya are equally close to me, if not more, as you are. You have come into my life only for the past 5 months, but I have stayed with them, and grown up with them for the last 30 years. I appreciate the fact that you miss me a lot, but that does not stop me from loving my family one bit. You have to accept the fact that at the end of the day, I am THEIR child, not yours. You would never be able to show as much affection towards me as much as they do every moment, irrespective of how intense your romance is. Romance can never make up for parental and brotherly love.

I understand that you are emotionally dependent on me and expect a lot of love and affection from me. However, I am forced to say that I cannot give you anything more than what I am doing right now. I would always have my family duties to perform because that is what I enjoy doing. As far as you are concerned, it is partly true that I love you, but that does not mean that I would give you more attention than my family here. I know that it is sounding rude, but that is what the fact is. After we do get married, I know that I would be physically present with you all the time, and then I may be able to fulfill your expectations a bit more.

Even now, whenever I am finished with my family duties, I try to give the remaining time to you only. I have no other boyfriends here with whom I can share my free time. Please try to accept happily whatever little time you are getting from me right now. Mom, dad and bhaiya want to spend the maximum time with me because they fear that after marriage I may not get time to talk to them too much. I fully understand and appreciate their feelings and hence I take care of them a bit too much. I am sorry to say that I cannot stop my feelings from manifesting themselves. I hope you understand and I hope that you would not feel bad about it. Even if you do feel bad, I cannot help it because I cannot create happiness for you. Bye.

He read her reply. He was shocked. He was shattered. He could not believe what he had just read. He felt it was as stark and as ruthless as an email can be, especially from a person whom he had loved so deeply for 5 months. He sat dumbfounded in his bedroom. He was sweating profusely on a cool night. He decided to go for a walk outside. There was nobody to stop him or talk to him. It was 1 am in the night.

ICC must take strict actions…

First it was match fixing that was the epicentre of all troubles that was brewing in the Pakistani cricket establishment. Now, it has been ball tampering that Shoaib Akhtar was charged with yesterday. The kind of revelations that have come up in the last few weeks have obviously begged the question that why is Pakistan still being allowed to play international cricket? Why has not the English tour of Pakistan been called off after the Test series?

There have been quite a few former cricketers who have voiced their opinions about this. They have expressed that ICC should exhibit restraint and should not ban Pakistan from the list of ICC Test playing nations. Well, my point is if ICC can ban the South African and Zimbabwe cricket teams for purely political reasons, and for reasons for which the poor cricketers are not to blame, then why cannot they do so for Pakistan, whose cricketers are directly involved in all wrong-doings?

When South Africa was banned for Apartheid, or Zimbabwe was suspended for violation of Human Rights by their political leadership, everybody accepted those decisions. The match fixing saga and the ball tampering controversy is even worse, as the cricketers themselves are involved in selling the reputation of their country. To teach all cricketers a strong lesson, ICC should go ahead and disallow Pakistan from participating in any of its affiliated tournaments for the next one year at least, including the coveted World Cup that is scheduled next February.

The million dollar question is does ICC have the fire in its belly to take such a drastic step when there are only 8 proper Test playing nations right now? Do they dare to ban a cricket playing nation at a time when the associate nations have failed to rise to Test match level after sustained investments? An even bigger question is whether they would do it at the cost of World Cup 2011 TRPs crashing down.

CWG preparations have bowed our heads in shame……

As we come closer to the biggest sporting event India has hosted after the Asian Games in 1982, our heads keep bowing down in shame and disgust. It should freak any ordinary citizen out, when he/she just ponders over the fact that how inept, callous and irresponsible the organizers for the Commonwealth Games (CWG) have been. As if the financial irregularities have not been enough, now even the Games Village has been termed as “not fit enough to live in”.

Representatives of the various participating nations have complained that the apartments in the Village are filthy and stinky as hell. The toilets are unclean and the construction workers seemed to have littered the loos in them. Interiors are also still going on. This fact was published a couple of days back, and the athletes are supposed to arrive today. I mean, are we taking of a host country which is the second fastest growing economy in the world, and which has been named as the third most powerful nation in the world in a recent survey? To make matters worse, a footbridge, which was supposedly constructed at a cost of Rs 11 crore for the athletes, has collapsed, seriously injuring 30 people. So has a ceiling in one of the stadiums.

Quite a few empowered committees were set up in the last two months to oversee the functioning of the CWG, but to no avail. The funny thing is that nobody is willing to bite the bullet. Everybody is passing the buck to the others. This is atrocious, shameful and detestable to say the least. I have run out of patience with respect to the Games being held properly. Many star athletes have already boycotted the Games. I would not be astonished if entire nations back out of this fracas as well and only Indians are left to compete against each other in the CWG. There should be a limit to all the nonsense that is taking place for quite some time now.

It’s a shame to see that our country, which has been so well known for its hospitality over the years, is treating its guests in such a shabby fashion, with dirty apartments and used-up, stinky toilets. We cannot guarantee them health and safety either, as structures are collapsing every other day and terrorists are threatening to open fire and smuggling detonators inside the stadium. Please give me a break guys. I do not want to call myself an Indian during the Common Wealth Games 2010.

IPL invoked a lot more interest….

The Champions League T20 is currently going on in South Africa. Last year also it was held with much fanfare in India during Diwali time. During both the editions however, it has failed to arouse as much interest and passion as the IPL editions have. Given that the standard of the cricket played in the former is much higher than that of the latter, it is very surprising indeed.

I guess the BCCI has been able to market the IPL a lot more, and with a lot more matches there, the passion always simmers even in the scorching heat of summer. Lalit Modi, given all the integrity issues that have blotted his reputation, has always been a tremendous innovator and IPL is his brainchild. The idea of a strategic time-out (which was criticised severely by the players), the glitz and glamour, the quality of TV coverage and the optimal length of the tournament with double headers made it the ideal “Masala Cricket.” However, the CLT20 has failed to stir up the public to that extent, and elicit as much hysteria as the IPL has done.

The only point of interest for the Indian public has been the performance of the IPL teams here. Even the T20 World Cup has met a similar fate with the interest not reaching fever pitch, in spite of the cricket being of the highest calibre. Probably the pristinely administered ICC needs to take a lesson or two about marketing and tournament showcasing from a beleaguered, vituperated but an innovative administrator.

Honorary awards should be abolished……

Sometime back, UK’s University of Bedfordshire awarded Shah Rukh Khan an honorary doctorate. Not only SRK, but also Amitabh Bachchan, Javed Akhtar, Shabana Azmi and even Shilpa Shetty have been conferred honorary doctorates. To me this is a serious insult of a PhD degree.

I possess a Masters Degree from an IIT. During my two year course there, I had to work one year on a research project, on which I was eventually graded. I know how much pain one has to go through while completing even such a short stint in the lab. For PhD scholars, it is even worse – they spend five years in a lab, if not more, to earn their degrees. Honorary doctorates belittle the tireless efforts of thousands of research scholars in our country who have toiled day and night for this coveted honour. The authorities better understand that doctorates are meant for great achievers and not entertainers.

I feel that awards should be reserved for the fields they are meant for, like the Oscars for good cinema. A few days back, Sachin Tendulkar was made honorary Group Captain of the Indian Air Force. We understand that he has done tremendous service to Indian cricket, but this act was certainly not justified. Sachin would never be able to inspire youth to join IAF, even though he may encourage them to take up cricket. In fact, when chess legend Viswanathan Anand declined his doctorate from the University of Hyderabad after his nationality was questioned, he was not supercilious. After all, isn’t being Anand good enough?

Indian Cinema has to reach out to the West….

If one looks at the Indian box office even last year, one would regretfully see that among the five biggest hits, the second biggest hit after 3 Idiots is Avatar. There used to be a time when even the best of Hollywood movies did not break any records in India. You would find a lot of people around you gloating about Indian films going to 50 countries and winning awards and so on. However, the thing is that only Indians, and not the natives, are watching Indian films in those 50 countries.

In the last two decades, India has been able to export its culture through music, sport and literature, but never through films. The west has however been able to significantly influence our culture with their technologically and cinematically superior forms of cinema. Although Hindi cinema, which is currently the face of Indian cinema, has evolved over the years we still have a long way to go. Dhobi Ghat, which is Kiran Rao’s debut venture, is supposed to be a masterpiece though it is yet to be released. We need more films like that to carve a niche for ourselves.

Indian cinema has to evolve as uncluttered storytellers, which was almost taken for granted in the days of filmmakers like Satyajit Ray. We should start Indianising Indian cinema to a far greater extent than what we are doing today. We should stop Hollywood from having destructive influences on our cinema. We have so much to offer as a country, as a culture and it is time we start leveraging some of that potential.

Educate farmers on proper use of pesticides….

It seems that our innocent and ignorant farmers, unaware of the repercussions of chemicals they use as pesticides for their crops, are feeding us into a slow death of sorts. Pesticide spraying is turning into the biggest issue to never have been addressed. Higher demands for certain crops have forced farmers to increase the rounds of pesticide sprays, but the problem is the cocktail of dangerous chemicals used for the purpose.

Not only is our health at risk, but also that of the farmers themselves, because they do not put on any protective gear while using pesticides. Hence they are easy victims to health problems like cancer, mental retardation, and infertility among others. Any pesticide sprayed on the fields also drifts and contaminates the nearby soil and water sources nearby, endangering the lives of so many people. The government has banned DDT and some other organochlorides as pesticides, but they have not done so for endosulfan, which is also a very fatal chemical. In fact India is one of the largest users of Class 1A pesticides by WHO standards, which are supposed to be the most hazardous.

The worry is there is little thought to an Integrated Pest Management System. Farmers do not have basic knowledge of how to use pesticides. In some areas, they mix pesticides and use a cocktail, without thinking an iota about its side effects. In most cases, labelling on bottles is not effective as it cannot be done in local languages. There is no information either on product hazards or appropriate methods of storage and handling. Even worse, many people use the empty pesticide bottles to store diesel or kerosene. India also has about 200 tons of obsolete pesticides which have not been disposed off.

High pesticide residues in many of our crops like cardamom have reduced its export by a huge amount. This is a huge setback for our farmers too, leave aside the state exchequer. Farmers have to be made aware of the proper usage of pesticides such as endosulfan so that they can mitigate long term health impacts for themselves as well as for us. Our leaders already know that India is a country which has an agricultural economy, but I hope they realize that too.

Hindi Cinema has evolved in the last two decades….

The list of winners in the recently announced National Film Awards is very significant. Amitabh Bachchan won the award for Best Actor, Paa was named as the Best Hindi Film, 3 Idiots won the award for the Most Pouplar Film, Delhi 6 won the award for the Best Feature Film on National Integration. All these films were based on socially relevant issues, but they were not just movies with a message. Their social conscience had been polished into a glossy sheen, and tailored for mass viewing and public acceptance. This is a clear indication of Hindi cinema’s evolution in the last 20 years or so.

If one takes a look at previous National Film Award (NFA) ceremonies, one would feel how much the paradigm has shifted in Indian cinema. Movies that used to regularly take honours at the NFA were those by Satyajit Ray, Mrinal Sen and Shyam Benegal, directors who had impeccable credentials for parallel cinema. At the other end of the spectrum you had Yash Chopra, who used mass entertainment as their weapon and bagged the most popular film award categories at the NFA. There was a distinction of the two genres of films.

Now that demarcation has blurred significantly. This can be attributed to a generation of film directors in our country who have shaped their artistic sensibilities after liberalisation. They are equally aware of our current socio-political milieu and the Bollywood potboilers. This breed of directors make experimental cinema of a kind that may have been impossible in the era of single-screen theatres. However, innovation in Hindi cinema is still a work in progress and it has to come at par with the best of the West. The good thing is that it has surely demonstrated its capacity for reinvention. I think that the best from Hindi cinema is yet to come.

The Indo-Pak Express touches all hearts….

When Rohan Bopanna and Aisam-Ul-Haq Qureshi took centre court in the men’s doubles final in the US Open Tennis on Eid, a billion hearts from India and Pakistan were dancing in unison. This was a special occasion, when sportspersons from two countries, who have been virtually at war for the past 60 years and continue to escalate tension between themselves, united themselves on the tennis court and rose like a phoenix from the ashes to reach the title round.

They made a statement to the entire world that peace and friendship between these traditional foes of South Asia was still not a far cry. If sports can break the barrier of mutual mistrust and hatred so effortlessly, so can diplomacy and dialogue. The important thing is the will to do it however. The effort was all the more commendable for Aisam, because Pakistan has been torn apart from within, by rogue elements within their army, their cricketers and nature’s fury. After the match, which was symbolically held in the US, Aisam said that people of America should not view Pakistan as a terrorist nation. He also stressed upon the harassment that Pakistanis are subjected to at US airports in the name of security checks.

This speech of his was not only reminiscent of the pain that these people have faced over the years just because of a few rogue elements, but also showed how sport can bring nations together and dispel all hatred. Recognizing the valiant effort of these two young bravehearts in promoting peace and harmony between India and Pakistan through sport, the government of Karnataka has announced a felicitation ceremony for the duo.

They truly deserve it. They have carved a niche for themselves in the world of tennis. From now on, all teams would treat Bopanna-Qureshi pair with a lot of respect on the court for their skills as players, just like they did for the Paes-Bhupathi pair. They would also elicit smiles and blessings from people of both sides of the Indo-Pak border for showing the way to a beleaguered set of politicians and generals, who just cannot find a way to peace and bonhomie between these two culturally and aesthetically similar nations.

Procrastination is a thief of time….

Most of us have an ugly habit of delaying work which can be done then and there itself. We forget that there are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back. Postponing things into the future would never get anyone anywhere; it has never done so either. Procrastination is an energy-draining, time-stealing and life-robbing problem. It is a waste of time when one engages in low-value deeds.

Be it students, young people of the MNC workforce, or elderly people, their indulgence on the quintessential trait, of putting off important tasks for doing later, is beyond doubt. Too much procrastination can have a grim and negative effect on one’s lives – failure in exams, unable to get a promotion, paying heavy fines or penalties, or it may make you feel despondent or dejected.

The will to complete tasks on time, proper planning, prioritising of various tasks among many and executing the tasks goes a long way in avoiding bottlenecks in our daily work. At the end of it all, it is up to the individual to implement the given task on time smoothly, without any panic for himself or people around him. If tasks are completed on time, free time can be obtained afterwards, which allows us to complete all the great things we wanted, like hanging out with friends or watching a movie. After all, they say, that the busiest person in the world has a lot of free time.

The Karaoke experience……

Well well well! This is the 75th post of my blog. As always on special milestones, I would write today on something which I have done for the first time in my life – a Karaoke Concert, here in GE campus. For beginners, Karaoke is an event where the original track of a song is played in a music system on stage, and the singer has to fill in the song itself into the track. The lyrics of the song are displayed on a big screen as it is being sung.

For the past two weeks or so, as part of our decennial celebrations here, we have been organizing various events in our campus. The Karaoke Concert was also one of the many events that are taking place. Till today morning I did not even know when the concert was supposed to be held. Suddenly at 10.45 am an email arrived saying that people who are still interested in taking part in the competition may get themselves registered latest by 4 pm. The registered candidates would be subjected to auditions and the final round of singing would start at 6 pm. They had also sent a list of about 250 songs, whose tracks were available and among which we had to choose one.

I went for registration at 3.55 pm and I was the last entry. I was confident about passing through the auditions, and I did so. They selected 16 people for the final round of performance. I had the privilege of choosing a solo number for myself, as some people were also selected for a group song. I preferred a solo number from the movie Gangster.

As I walked on stage at my turn, I was waiting for a totally new experience. I have never sung a song with an original soundtrack before, but always wanted to do so. So this was very special indeed. The lyrics kept floating up, but I hardly required them while singing. Luckily for me, I managed to integrate the lines well in between the interludes and the preludes. The song went well.

We were having the event in our open-air Amphitheatre, and it was unfortunate at the end that rain played spoilsport. We had to abandon the concert before finishing all participants and the results could also not be declared hence. That would have been an ideal culmination of such a wonderful and eventful day. However, it was an experience worth cherishing.

Sobbing of women after marriage day, an unanswered question..

One aspect that has always intrigued me throughout is the fact that almost all women sob heavily when they leave their paternal house a day after the marriage ceremony gets over. This is even more astonishing in case of love marriages.

It was perfectly logical for the bride to cry in the good old days, when they were married off as teenagers to elderly people. In those times, there were hardly any love marriages. Even in arranged marriages, the prospective bride and the groom never saw each other before marriage, forget talking to each other, which has become commonplace today. In effect, the poor girl was marrying an unknown person, and embarking upon an unknown destiny in an unknown household. She had every reason to cry for her parents when she would leave them forever.

Now, in an era of women liberation, where half of the marriages are based on choice of the couples than that of the families, and also in an era when the prospective couple spend so much time together before marriage getting to know each other, such acts of sobbing by women on leaving their parents makes no sense to me. The fact is that even in arranged marriages, the would-be bride and the groom start loving each other before the marriage actually happens. So why does she cry when she is about to be with her dream partner forever? Is it because her parents cry in front of her? Or is it something spurious just for the sake of attracting attention?

I have asked this question to many women, including my mother. They opine that the girl is aggrieved by the fact that she is leaving her parents forever. Well, in today’s world of nuclear families, even males stay away from their parents. They don’t cry on leaving their home for a job or studies, do they? At least I did not.

In fact, I feel that such acts put the groom in an awkward situation if the entire family of the bride start sobbing heavily just before he is about to part with his wife. A feeling of guilt engulfs him, when he feels as if he is inflicting capital damage on an innocent family.

Humility is a very difficult virtue to possess…

Learning to be humble is of paramount importance in most religions and spiritual traditions, and humility can also help you develop as a person and enjoy richer relationships with others. In reality, however, perhaps the hardest of our natural passions that we can subdue is pride. Disguise it, struggle with it, beat it down, stifle it, mortify it as much as you please, it is still alive, and will every now and then peep out and show itself.

Even then we can definitely strive towards achieving humility. Being humble doesn't mean you can't feel good about yourself. Self-esteem is not the same as pride. Both come from a recognition of your own talents and qualities, but arrogant pride, is rooted in insecurity about yourself. It is imperative to understand your limitations and to always remember the fact that there is always somebody who is better than you, in whatever skill that may be. Another aspect that we find to be very difficult is trying to stop judging others before finding our own faults.

Letting go of meaningless, simplistic comparisons with others will definitely make us enjoy doing things without worrying about whether we are better or worse than others. This would make us humble, as that would bring peace of mind. Praising others for their special qualities, as I had written about in one of my earlier posts, also enhances humility. Rejuvenating your sense of wonder, just like children, and having the curiosity so that you can be keen observers and capable learners also makes you humble. Helping others in every way possible, seeking guidance from people around you and gentleness are, of course, cornerstones of any humble person.

Having said all this, I still maintain that humility is always the toughest virtue to possess. For even if you could conceive that you have completely overcome pride, you would probably be proud of your humility. This is especially true when we live in a society that encourages competition and individuality.

Ensure a smooth ride of life with Lord Ganesha…..

Ganesha Chaturthi is an extremely prevalent festival throughout India, and Lord Ganesha, having the head of an elephant and an endearing round belly, is also a favourite idol among all sections of Indian society.

Today, the 11th of September, is being celebrated as Bhadrapada Ganesha Chaturthi which is supposed to be the birthday of Lord Ganesha. The lord is seen as Vighna Vinashaka, the Remover of Obstacles, and is always invoked before embarking on any new venture. The legend also goes that if you look at the moon on Chaturthi nights like today, you would invite false charges against yourselves. This is because Lord Ganesha is said to have cursed Chandra (the moon) as she had once teased Vinayaka over His peculiar form.

To me, there is an innocence and naughtiness about the face of Lord Ganesha. He is like a cherub, who you feel like pampering like anything, but also somebody who you can cry your mind out to. Some pictures which depict a baby Ganesha on the lap of Parvati with Lord Shiva standing alongside, is also very cute indeed. To me he sometimes elicits a similar expression as Bal Gopala. An obsequious bow before him, just before you leave for work everyday, gives you the confidence that you can gallop past any obstacle that is in store for you that day.

The message of Eid should eradicate radicalism…

Ramzan, or Ramadan, the Islamic holy month was when the Holy Quran was revealed to the prophet. Eid-Ul-Fitr, which is the culmination of this month-long fasting, celebrates the revelation of the Quran. It is believed that this revelation occurred on the 27th night of the month of Ramzan. Muslims pray throughout this Night of Power and they are advised to seek forgiveness and also ask for what they desire.

The month long fasting is not only about not having food from dawn to dusk, but also entails sexual abstinence, refraining from quarrels, lies and entertainment, and staying away from war and other forms of inflicting violence on humanity. These manifestations of renunciation is said to cleanse one’s soul, teaches patience and humility and ensures that man is not a slave to his desires.

Today is the 11th of Sepetember, the infamous 9/11, memories of which still sends shivers down the spine of many around the world. It is highly symbolic that Eid-Ul-Fitr is also being celebrated on this day this year. Will the message of tolerance spread across the victimised and the accused alike? Yesterday, a Christian priest in the USA had also threatened to burn the Quran in protest against 9/11 attacks. Will he oblige or relent?

In the month of Ramzan, Kashmir is burning; Pakistan’s cricketers have been caught in match fixing allegations and Palestine is attacking Israel. People who fight in the name of religion should sit down and scan through their holy books sooner rather than later. If they understand and implement the message of sacred months like that of the Ramzan, we would surely have a world which would be free of all radicalism, revenge and greed.

The average Indian male has learnt to look good…..

There used to be a time, not so long ago, when attractive Indian actresses fell for foreign male cricketers. Neena Gupta for Vivian Richards and Anju Mahendroo for Sir Garfield Sobers are burning examples. There were several Indian starlets who used to fantasize about Imran Khan. Wasim Akram, even at 44, manages to set hearts aflutter, as Sushmita Sen might well have found out how.

In the years gone by however, the average Indian male has lacked sheer physical appeal, botched up their looks and has been convincingly eclipsed by his ravishing female counterpart. That is why you might not have seen any foreign starlet bowled over by the looks of any Indian male. People attribute the lack of good looks to bad grooming. Detestable habits like letting yellow nails grow, picking their nose in public, eating noisily, talking loudly over phone, and lack of chivalry summed up the Indian male of yesteryears. They used to be blinded by smugness and incorrigible self-love.

In the last decade or so, things have changed dramatically however. The average Indian male is much more serious about grooming, fitness, skin and his good looks overall. I have witnessed young men in their late 20s applying face wash gels after they come back from work, trimming their nails and hair regularly, looking sober in dress codes and using mouth wash gels after meals. I do not think this was prevalent even 15 years back. Even middle to old aged people try their best to protract their good looks over a longer time span. However, one fact has survived the test of generations of the ugly looking Indian Male, and holds even today. Despite the way they look, Indian men have mostly been paired with beautiful looking women!