This is in continuation to one of my earlier posts on “Confessions of a harmless mind.” After receiving her boyfriend’s email, which contained his innermost feelings of extreme intensity and romance, she pondered for quite some time on what should she reply to him. The day went on, the evening passed, she had dinner with her parents and younger brother (bhaiya) and then she thought that it was time for a befitting reply. She switched on her laptop; the internet took some time to get connected and then she started to pen down her email.
She wrote, “Hi, I can understand your feelings fully. However I do not think that you understand my feelings at all. It is true that we would get married in the near future, but it is an even bigger fact that my dad, mom and bhaiya are equally close to me, if not more, as you are. You have come into my life only for the past 5 months, but I have stayed with them, and grown up with them for the last 30 years. I appreciate the fact that you miss me a lot, but that does not stop me from loving my family one bit. You have to accept the fact that at the end of the day, I am THEIR child, not yours. You would never be able to show as much affection towards me as much as they do every moment, irrespective of how intense your romance is. Romance can never make up for parental and brotherly love.
I understand that you are emotionally dependent on me and expect a lot of love and affection from me. However, I am forced to say that I cannot give you anything more than what I am doing right now. I would always have my family duties to perform because that is what I enjoy doing. As far as you are concerned, it is partly true that I love you, but that does not mean that I would give you more attention than my family here. I know that it is sounding rude, but that is what the fact is. After we do get married, I know that I would be physically present with you all the time, and then I may be able to fulfill your expectations a bit more.
Even now, whenever I am finished with my family duties, I try to give the remaining time to you only. I have no other boyfriends here with whom I can share my free time. Please try to accept happily whatever little time you are getting from me right now. Mom, dad and bhaiya want to spend the maximum time with me because they fear that after marriage I may not get time to talk to them too much. I fully understand and appreciate their feelings and hence I take care of them a bit too much. I am sorry to say that I cannot stop my feelings from manifesting themselves. I hope you understand and I hope that you would not feel bad about it. Even if you do feel bad, I cannot help it because I cannot create happiness for you. Bye.
He read her reply. He was shocked. He was shattered. He could not believe what he had just read. He felt it was as stark and as ruthless as an email can be, especially from a person whom he had loved so deeply for 5 months. He sat dumbfounded in his bedroom. He was sweating profusely on a cool night. He decided to go for a walk outside. There was nobody to stop him or talk to him. It was 1 am in the night.
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