I have held this opinion for quite some time now, that these days many parents look for the slightest opportunity to praise their kids in front of strangers, or even distant relatives. They feel that by doing this, their son/daughter would start earning respect and veneration in society. I do not see even a modicum of common sense in this. It is a pity that in the midst of all petty social rivalries, parents of today forget one of the most rudimentary aspects of child upbringing.
The parents that I am talking about are totally oblivious to our mythology, our ancient epics, especially the Mahabharata. If they were not, they would have known the words of Shri Krishna, when he tells Nakula that:
“Hey brave Pandava, I am your friend. Hence there is no value of any praise that I bestow you with. Praise is fully realized and cherished only when your cruellest of enemies shower it on you. Only then you would know that you possess talent.”
Sometimes, even I frustratingly used to admonish my mom to praise me like hell in front of strangers. However she always opposed that demand of mine. Now, after so many years, I realize the amount of good that her restraint has done to me. My mom always says the few lines in Bengali when we discuss this issue-
“Aponaare bhalo bole bhalo shei noi, loke jaare bhalo bole bhalo sheii hoi” which basically means “People who praise themselves or their near and dear ones are never really good, but those who receive praise from outsiders are the real talented ones.”
By ignoring such lines of wisdom parents forget the simple fact that if you get the child or even your grown-up kids used to useless praise then they would definitely lose the urge to earn it themselves, and in that case, not be estimable as individuals. They would find it very difficult to realize the fact that in life, one has to constantly set new benchmarks for oneself and keep striving past oneself. Really wish some common sense prevails somewhere.
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