In one of my earlier posts, I had written that how you can be alone and yet not be lonely. Well, that particular statement had a corollary, and that was, no matter how occupied you keep yourself, you can never be alone forever. There has to be an “expiry date” of staying alone. I have crossed that about 6 months back unfortunately.
When I was a kid and was amongst my mom, dad, brother and other relatives at home, I always used to feel that “Oh God, when can I start staying alone and have things done my way.” My dream came true when I was selected to an IIT five years back. I was literally jumping with joy at the prospect of seeing the world all by myself. Time passed, I had the time of my life in IIT for two years. I got a job in Bangalore and the dream continued. Till about six months back I was enjoying every bit of my solitude, but no more.
I write my blog, I surf, I sing, I cook, but I hate to stay alone. Gossiping around with friends does not interest me any more. Life has become abject and it seems that the days here in Bangalore have been left derelict. Intransigence has taken a strong grip on my temperament. I just hate compromising on any thing. Things change drastically however, when I do visit Kolkata and find my family on the horizon. I get back my usual jovial self, there is no rankle, and no carping. I enjoy life.
Probably the effect of staying all alone for so many years has taken its toll. There are people who stay all alone for a greater period of time, but for me I think the time has come to move out of this kind of lifestyle. It is good that somebody special is coming as a welcome addition to my life in two months time. Hope things change for the better.
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