The worth of my High Self Esteem…..

I have always been among those who have a high degree of self-esteem. I know that there is a fine line between an “inflated ego” and “high self-esteem” but I feel that I have managed to sustain the latter as my forte. There is nothing more detrimental to a man, than to lose his sense of pride, which eventually would lead to the loss of respect he commands.

Just to give an example, there have been occasions when people have made me understand that I would be an unwanted guest at their house, if there is no formal invitation from their side. This is as if you visit people only if they invite you to do so. This is all right in professional relationships but stings badly in personal ones. If you like a person, you should not have a problem if he/she visits your place anytime, even without informing you before hand. In such circumstances, my self-esteem has always urged me to withhold even formal visits to their homes.

I remember, once when I was 9 years old, I went to have dinner with a very close family friend of ours, in a restaurant, which was only 2 km from our house. After dinner at 10.30 pm, he told me that I should walk home alone, and not get into his car. Even at such a small age, I had taken it very seriously and thought that I should never take privilege from somebody who has insulted me. I decided to walk home alone on that night and reached home at 11 pm. I still remember getting a real thrashing from dad, but later on they understood my perspective and forgave me. However, that person whose car I had refused to board had later told us that it was “just a joke” and I had been "too sensitive unnecessarily." I did not care a hoot.

There have been occasions when I have had to compromise on humility a touch to accommodate my self-esteem, but it has been worth the effort. I felt that it was right and I back myself completely. However, I have never hurt anybody else’s ego intentionally, although many people have done that to me. My self-esteem has come from the respect and belief that I have in myself, which even the holy books encourage. Hence I keep nurturing it.