Uprooting Misunderstandings is vital….

Misunderstandings are bound to happen in any relationship, working or non-working. One way of avoiding hurtful resentments that may result from these misunderstandings is to keep an open line of communication with your partner. Miscommunication may still arise even while an open line is well established, but it is up to both partners to realize that if the relationship is where they want to be, then 'I' becomes less meaningful and 'we' becomes a more used phrase.

If observed minutely, one would find that in any misunderstanding, I say X, which in my mind carries the message Y, but in your mind you understand Z, then there is some confusion and controversy because Z and Y don't match up. It can be very emotionally painful for one side or both sides when a misunderstanding occurs, especially if an important expectation is violated by the unintended message Z. Misunderstandings are inevitable because language is many-layered, and that means that what you literally say and what you intend to communicate are usually, normally, perhaps even always, quite different.

It takes two to argue and one to stop it. I have often found that when I was able to put aside my own ego long enough to say, "I'm sorry, I just want to understand," I was pleasantly surprised to realize that it was that easy to stop the fight. We should all realize that communication could stay open ended when we stop long enough to really listen to what the other person is saying.

In a misunderstanding it is not any one's fault, but both sides have participated, and both sides can learn something, and if either side continues to blame the other for the misunderstanding then that is not fair. Although it seems selfish, domineering, disrespectful, and injurious to the relationship, this is exactly what happens when tempers flare on both sides. You have to root out the mistrust by honestly and respectfully engaging with your friend's real intention, because that is what they really meant. If you insist on staying on your own side, you're just burning down the bridge of connection between you and your friend.

Couples are usually in relationships because they have intense romantic attachment towards the partner, which is far greater than attachments towards any other family member. Any misunderstanding can be worked out and thought through when couples are willing and wanting to explore the deepest fundamentals of their relationship, which is based on love and trust. People in serious relationships want to be there, they want to be a part of the whole that becomes a working and loving situation. That is why you would find very often that when the patch-up happens after a misunderstanding, the intensity and the bonding of the relationship become stronger, highlighting that there is so much love waiting to be tapped. Then you rebuke yourselves for instigating a misunderstanding, as so much love-time goes waste.