Listen first, then speak…..

When somebody speaks, most people never listen. This is the root of all misunderstanding during most confabulations around us. I have always found this repugnant habit of interrupting people, when they are expressing viewpoints, very intimidating and annoying. In our corporate culture, the higher you move in responsibility, lesser you speak and more you listen and take decisions. The same thing applies in our everyday life also.

Our own Lok Sabha, where a pandemonium exists every day, is a very good example of the chaos that gets created due to too many voices being raised at the same time. It showcases our country in poor colour, which is beyond the understanding of our venerated leaders. Respected, educated leaders of our country, who are otherwise so suave on television, just lose their sense of courtesy, protocol and ethics, and start shouting simultaneously in front of a live television camera. Nobody lends an ear to the other. Everybody tries to stamp his or her authority on a discussion. That is why, rarely would you see constructive steps being taken quickly after a Parliament session on any burning issue.

During recruitment processes in various multinationals or even IIM admissions, Group Discussions (GDs) are conducted. Here, the misconception among candidates is they are being judged on how well they speak. However, in reality, the judges gauge that how well the candidates listen, how well they respect other’s opinions and eventually how well they help to build a consensus among a group of people who have different viewpoints. These qualities are of immense significance in the corporate environment.

In our personal life also, if some of our close ones are facing any problem, or they are disconsolate or depressed for some reason, the best solution is to allow them to speak and vent their grief/anger; you should not feel bad even if they shout at you. If you are trying to solve their problem, you should always keep quiet and listen first to whatever they have to say, and then give your solutions or opinions.

Good listening skills are just so important every second in our life. I have seen some excellent listeners, and I really wish that there were many more people around, who would first listen and then speak. However the problem is that these days, there are just too many experts who love to gloat around, and express opinions without caring a hoot for what the guy in front has to say. They say, that “This is the only way to build an impression.” When I hear that, I give a wry smile and walk away.