Days just pass by like anything. It seems just a few days ago that there was about 6 weeks left for marriage. Now it is just one week. ONE WEEK ONLY! The big day looms near, but the sizzling excitement is just not there. This may be because I have not reached home yet, thus not being able to gauge the excitement and anticipation out there.
A big change is also approaching my life. Probably I am engrossed in aligning myself according to those changes that I can anticipate. Hence, I guess there is no mood for excitement. Marriage has always been a big test of character, courage, mental toughness and education, and mine would be no different.
It may also be that I have been talking to Kuhu for seven months now, hence we know quite a few things about each other. Hence, that suspense factor is not there anymore between the two of us. We have seen the best and worst of each other, and hence now, it is our obligation to fit in smoothly into each other’s lives. Probably this is an advantage in today’s age where you can speak to your would-be spouse before marriage and gauge their likes and dislikes, so that you can adjust accordingly.
Once I reach Kolkata however, I am sure the fever of the occasion would take off drastically. Scores of people thronging our apartment in Hindusthan Park would enlighten the festive spirit. Till then, it’s a wait for me. After the euphoria and the ecstasy of the event subsides and the dust settles in on the 25th of November 2010, it is fingers-crossed however!
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Asian Games 2010 has been a rude shock to us……….
The euphoria that the success of the Indian athletes created at the Commonwealth Games (CWG) 2010, has subsided into a rude reality of Chinese dominance in the ongoing Asian Games 2010. Just a month back, India was dreaming of becoming a sporting nation by 2015. It grabbed 100 medals in the 10-day event including 38 gold medals. They had pipped England to the second spot in the overall medal standings. The shooters, wrestlers, paddlers, boxers, archers and shuttlers were as good as unbeatable.
In Guangzhou, however things have taken a dramatic turn. China has already claimed over 100 medals in only three days of competition including 62 gold medals. That shows how far India is behind this sporting giant. Even countries like Korea, Japan, Chinese Taipei and Hongkong are ahead of us in the medals tally right now. Our sure-shot gold mines, Gagan Narang and Abhinav Bindra, have also bowed out with a silver medal only. Although our boxers, wrestlers and Saina Nehwal are yet to start their campaigns, India will in all probability fall way short of 100 medals that they managed to achieve in CWG 2010.
Hence gentlemen, it is time that we get realistic about the capabilities of our athletes on the world stage. Bagging a handful of medals in the CWG does not prove that we can challenge China. I do not think that we can do that even in the next 20 years. It is also time for some reality check in the aftermath of a thumping CWG triumph, which was our best ever performance as a country in any multi-nation sporting event. We should start the process of grooming champions immediately. We should stop going over the board with just ONE Saina Nehwal, Abhinav Bindra and Pankaj Advani. We need hundreds of them, and that too quickly.
In Guangzhou, however things have taken a dramatic turn. China has already claimed over 100 medals in only three days of competition including 62 gold medals. That shows how far India is behind this sporting giant. Even countries like Korea, Japan, Chinese Taipei and Hongkong are ahead of us in the medals tally right now. Our sure-shot gold mines, Gagan Narang and Abhinav Bindra, have also bowed out with a silver medal only. Although our boxers, wrestlers and Saina Nehwal are yet to start their campaigns, India will in all probability fall way short of 100 medals that they managed to achieve in CWG 2010.
Hence gentlemen, it is time that we get realistic about the capabilities of our athletes on the world stage. Bagging a handful of medals in the CWG does not prove that we can challenge China. I do not think that we can do that even in the next 20 years. It is also time for some reality check in the aftermath of a thumping CWG triumph, which was our best ever performance as a country in any multi-nation sporting event. We should start the process of grooming champions immediately. We should stop going over the board with just ONE Saina Nehwal, Abhinav Bindra and Pankaj Advani. We need hundreds of them, and that too quickly.
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Oh God, please return to me my self…
“Oh God,
During the last year, I have tended to lose myself as an individual. I have lost self-control. I know that I should not be shouting at people. I know that I should not be using slangs, no matter how high the provocation might be. I know that I should not be insulting people. I know that I should be respecting people with dignity. For most of the time in my life I have followed every bit of these. Suddenly I have lost it.
As a result, my upbringing is being questioned; the education I have received is being treated with suspicion. Last week, one of my most treasured well-wishers aroused this realization that I had to be careful in the future, so that I could command respect. I started to understand the caveat and implement it accordingly, but again I seemed to have forgotten it today. I have always wanted to make my mom proud, but today I have bowed her head in shame once again.
I read the holy books. I know how you have defined DHARMA. I know how your esteemed devotes should carry themselves in life. I try but I cannot do it all the time. When I do follow your path, I gain admirations, adulations, praise, respect and success. When I stray, I gain nothing but brickbats and disrespect, harsh words and curses. When things calm down, the burden of repentance becomes unbearable. I feel like hiding myself forever. I lack the courage to even ask for forgiveness from the concerned persons.
God, you know what I am. Please help me to get back my true self, who would allow me to create my own dignity every time, and not just sometimes. Please help me to behave in a manner that befits my respect towards you, which befits my lineage to my respectable family and the venerated institutes that I have gained education from. Please help me to be tough, like I have been when you took away baba from me. Please help me to be independent, emotionally and materially, like I have been throughout my life. Please help me to remain a strong devotee of yours forever.
During the last year, I have tended to lose myself as an individual. I have lost self-control. I know that I should not be shouting at people. I know that I should not be using slangs, no matter how high the provocation might be. I know that I should not be insulting people. I know that I should be respecting people with dignity. For most of the time in my life I have followed every bit of these. Suddenly I have lost it.
As a result, my upbringing is being questioned; the education I have received is being treated with suspicion. Last week, one of my most treasured well-wishers aroused this realization that I had to be careful in the future, so that I could command respect. I started to understand the caveat and implement it accordingly, but again I seemed to have forgotten it today. I have always wanted to make my mom proud, but today I have bowed her head in shame once again.
I read the holy books. I know how you have defined DHARMA. I know how your esteemed devotes should carry themselves in life. I try but I cannot do it all the time. When I do follow your path, I gain admirations, adulations, praise, respect and success. When I stray, I gain nothing but brickbats and disrespect, harsh words and curses. When things calm down, the burden of repentance becomes unbearable. I feel like hiding myself forever. I lack the courage to even ask for forgiveness from the concerned persons.
God, you know what I am. Please help me to get back my true self, who would allow me to create my own dignity every time, and not just sometimes. Please help me to behave in a manner that befits my respect towards you, which befits my lineage to my respectable family and the venerated institutes that I have gained education from. Please help me to be tough, like I have been when you took away baba from me. Please help me to be independent, emotionally and materially, like I have been throughout my life. Please help me to remain a strong devotee of yours forever.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
The joy of giving a pleasant surprise….
If there is one thing, which brings utmost happiness to anybody, then a “surprise pleasantry” certainly has to be a strong contender for that honor. It may be a gift pack, it may be a surprise party, or it may be a surprise holiday to a destination, which has not been previously disclosed to the recipient. The satisfaction that you get when they give you that million-dollar smile and the accompanying ecstasy, on getting that surprise, is beyond words.
The same ecstasy engulfs you when somebody else gives you a surprise that you have longed for. I have always enjoyed giving surprises to people but it is not often that you get an opportunity to do so. However, a few days back, I did manage to do it. The sudden burst of joy in a person adds a different dimension to happiness. It spreads to his/her family members as well, in no time.
In the tensed age that we live in right now, it is very satisfying indeed if you can contribute even a few hours of happiness to a group of people. You need not require an occasion to do so. Ultimately, life is about enjoying moments with small gifts and little smiles, isn’t it?
The same ecstasy engulfs you when somebody else gives you a surprise that you have longed for. I have always enjoyed giving surprises to people but it is not often that you get an opportunity to do so. However, a few days back, I did manage to do it. The sudden burst of joy in a person adds a different dimension to happiness. It spreads to his/her family members as well, in no time.
In the tensed age that we live in right now, it is very satisfying indeed if you can contribute even a few hours of happiness to a group of people. You need not require an occasion to do so. Ultimately, life is about enjoying moments with small gifts and little smiles, isn’t it?
Monday, November 8, 2010
Never lose dignity while in romantic relationships
It is very nice indeed to get yourself totally committed to your love. You court your fiancée or lover, you give her surprises, you cajole her when required or even when it is not required, you exchange sweet nothings over phone or sms and you tend to make cozy promises for the future. However, many people, especially men, tend to lose their dignity and self respect, to a large extent, in the process.
I know of a person who has gone through this phenomenon. Before he fell in love, he was very dignified, very jovial, never asked or expected a single thing from people around, always held his head high, was tough under all circumstances, was independent and was humble. However, once the lady came into his life, he began to expect love and care. The guy who used to enjoy his free time alone suddenly started to get irritated, even if there was a ten-minute delay in an sms reply. Passing out time turned out to be a big challenge. Tempers started flying thick and fast. Insecurities about their relationship started to creep in to him.
One fine day, when both of them had a difference of opinion, the girl started shouting at him saying, “You were the one who was MORE interested in continuing with the relationship, not I. You took my mobile number so that we could talk, I did not take yours. You lack richness of character and confidence, in both our relationship as well as in yourself. I am confident of my strengths, but you are not. That is why you shout when I challenge you. You cannot live without me.” These words opened up his eyes. He woke up into a completely new realization of his lost dignity, and self esteem.
Probably the lady was right. The man forgot that he had abandoned his own strengths, which made him stand up on his own feet, which made him a champion over so many years, in the madness of love. He was a great believer in God. He did not stop loving his ladylove after that incident, but he felt that the hurt and the ignominy of those words were God’s way of arousing realization in his soul. He was thankful that he had been able to rediscover his true self, which had made the lady like him in the first place.
The moral of the story is irrespective of how deeply you fall in love, you should never lose your dignity and make yourself cheap in front of your lady. She would never respect a man who would always be willing to beg for her love, instead of commanding it. This is especially true for a man who has been a role model in the past and achieved so much. They do not ever deserve such disrespect from the opposite sex.
I know of a person who has gone through this phenomenon. Before he fell in love, he was very dignified, very jovial, never asked or expected a single thing from people around, always held his head high, was tough under all circumstances, was independent and was humble. However, once the lady came into his life, he began to expect love and care. The guy who used to enjoy his free time alone suddenly started to get irritated, even if there was a ten-minute delay in an sms reply. Passing out time turned out to be a big challenge. Tempers started flying thick and fast. Insecurities about their relationship started to creep in to him.
One fine day, when both of them had a difference of opinion, the girl started shouting at him saying, “You were the one who was MORE interested in continuing with the relationship, not I. You took my mobile number so that we could talk, I did not take yours. You lack richness of character and confidence, in both our relationship as well as in yourself. I am confident of my strengths, but you are not. That is why you shout when I challenge you. You cannot live without me.” These words opened up his eyes. He woke up into a completely new realization of his lost dignity, and self esteem.
Probably the lady was right. The man forgot that he had abandoned his own strengths, which made him stand up on his own feet, which made him a champion over so many years, in the madness of love. He was a great believer in God. He did not stop loving his ladylove after that incident, but he felt that the hurt and the ignominy of those words were God’s way of arousing realization in his soul. He was thankful that he had been able to rediscover his true self, which had made the lady like him in the first place.
The moral of the story is irrespective of how deeply you fall in love, you should never lose your dignity and make yourself cheap in front of your lady. She would never respect a man who would always be willing to beg for her love, instead of commanding it. This is especially true for a man who has been a role model in the past and achieved so much. They do not ever deserve such disrespect from the opposite sex.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Speak out to make people take note of you…
Big occasions test the best and the toughest. They have always done so. Whether it is performing on a big event, or arranging and taking responsibilities for a mega event in your household or office, it is a huge task. It is not for everyone, it is not for the weak hearted, it is not for people who cannot keep their words and it is not for people who possess a confused psyche.
There are so many trivial things to be thought about, besides the big issues, that it can drive the hell out of even an organized mind. Things can get even tougher if you tend to depend on outsiders to get your job done. If these people have a sniff that you do not have too much backing from family members, they tend to pounce on you. Absurd demands are made, illogical adjustments are expected from you and you tend to feel like a slave to their fancy whims and thoughts.
Such occasions demand a savior, who can be rude, straightforward and even shameless at times, and who can give you advice. Tough situations require tough words and these people provide you with that. Sometimes to get yourself out of a hole that others have dug for you, you need to be outspoken yourself or take help from outspoken people. They can save you a lot of pain and, at the same time show people around you that you are no pushover.
There are so many trivial things to be thought about, besides the big issues, that it can drive the hell out of even an organized mind. Things can get even tougher if you tend to depend on outsiders to get your job done. If these people have a sniff that you do not have too much backing from family members, they tend to pounce on you. Absurd demands are made, illogical adjustments are expected from you and you tend to feel like a slave to their fancy whims and thoughts.
Such occasions demand a savior, who can be rude, straightforward and even shameless at times, and who can give you advice. Tough situations require tough words and these people provide you with that. Sometimes to get yourself out of a hole that others have dug for you, you need to be outspoken yourself or take help from outspoken people. They can save you a lot of pain and, at the same time show people around you that you are no pushover.
Some people change colours so effortlessly…
Some people are not as polite and humble as they pretend to be or as they are made out to be. For the sake of getting a job done, innumerable individuals change colors and adorn a canvas of a pseudo-character. As you get to know them better, you understand that they would use every weapon to pinch you if and when the opportunity arrives.
If you have been innocent enough to help them get over any trauma or weakness, then you may have done serious blunder. It may so happen that these people may use the same strength that they draw from you, to hurt you. By the time you realize it, it is too late. You regret, bite off your fingers, rage for revenge, but you are helpless. All promises, made in happy times, are thrown out of the window.
You feel that the person you had loved, respected and who had an endearing presence in your life, has transformed. In actuality however, you have been fooled left, right and centre. However, life goes on and you tend to accept everything with a smiling face and a strong heart. I guess this is what they call “adjustment.”
If you have been innocent enough to help them get over any trauma or weakness, then you may have done serious blunder. It may so happen that these people may use the same strength that they draw from you, to hurt you. By the time you realize it, it is too late. You regret, bite off your fingers, rage for revenge, but you are helpless. All promises, made in happy times, are thrown out of the window.
You feel that the person you had loved, respected and who had an endearing presence in your life, has transformed. In actuality however, you have been fooled left, right and centre. However, life goes on and you tend to accept everything with a smiling face and a strong heart. I guess this is what they call “adjustment.”
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Diwali has a special significance this time…
Deepavali, also known as Diwali, is going to be celebrated across the country tomorrow. The day itself would be different for me this time. Contrary to previous years, I would stay put in Bangalore itself, instead of going to Mysore at Tutu pipi’s place. This is also the first time in my life that a loved one has sent me an assortment of goodies for Diwali, all the way from Kolkata, as a token of love for me.
For me, the Festival of Lights has special connotations this time around, and its realization is slightly different from the previous years. The lights around always signify the enlightening of life with the rays of peace, prosperity and happiness. It also signifies radiance of the soul with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The light of the diyas is supposed to obliterate darkness from within ourselves. However, this time, it would also signify the light that would brighten up my life after Kuhu steps into it in just above two weeks time.
Married life is a two-edged sword. It has its share of bliss as well as its share of misunderstandings and adjustments. The light of knowledge, realization and patience is always a boon under such a situation and, to me, this Diwali signifies the advent of that light. I really wish that the light of tomorrow would symbolize the brightness that both of us would bring to each other’s lives hereafter.
For me, the Festival of Lights has special connotations this time around, and its realization is slightly different from the previous years. The lights around always signify the enlightening of life with the rays of peace, prosperity and happiness. It also signifies radiance of the soul with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The light of the diyas is supposed to obliterate darkness from within ourselves. However, this time, it would also signify the light that would brighten up my life after Kuhu steps into it in just above two weeks time.
Married life is a two-edged sword. It has its share of bliss as well as its share of misunderstandings and adjustments. The light of knowledge, realization and patience is always a boon under such a situation and, to me, this Diwali signifies the advent of that light. I really wish that the light of tomorrow would symbolize the brightness that both of us would bring to each other’s lives hereafter.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Respecting individuals, rather than relations is easier for me….
Over the years, I have always tended to love and respect individuals, but not relations. There are many people who do it just the other way around. If there happens to be a very close relative of mine, probably even a blood relation, who happens to have some serious drawbacks in behaviour and which I know is not good, I cannot develop any respect for him/her. The relation itself cannot command respect to me.
I am a man of principles and I feel that I do have a thorough understanding of what is fair and what is not. I have huge respect for my mother, and even if that lady had not been my mother, I still would have respected her as a person. That is what I mean. Few people are very close relatives of mine, but I hardly ever talk to them, because I do feel that they are not good enough to talk to. On the other hand, there are many people who are just acquaintances, but who have commanded a lot of respect from me over the years. Among them, a few of them are actually quite a few years younger to me. Eventually for me it is the person, and not his/her age or the relation we are into, which drives the depth of respect.
I have heard people who say that “I understand that my xxx relative has so and so defects, but I still love him/her deeply enough, and I cannot tolerate even a rude word directed at him/her, even though those words might be ultimate truth.” To me, such words are baffling. Some people keep defending the mistakes of their close ones. They just cannot accept the fact that right is always right and wrong is always wrong, no matter who it comes from. I understand that it feels bad when somebody chastises your loved ones, but you should also analyze the reasons for their doing so. Instead of defending their loved ones in public, some people should go and rectify their mistakes in the confines of a drawing room. Sometimes it works.
At the end of it all, I feel that nobody should be biased towards any relationship. If one feels that their loved ones are not doing the right thing, especially if they are repeating the same rudeness or mistakes in behaviour, then appropriate reactions should be given. Blind defense does not help anybody. Ultimately it is about shunning the path of evil and treading the path of truth. Parashurama killed his father, Krishna killed his cousin Shishupala in a packed court and Arjuna demolished the Kauravas almost single handedly in Kurukshetra. Hence, the sky would not crash on our heads if we go against some of our loved ones, who have forgotten what righteousness is all about.
I am a man of principles and I feel that I do have a thorough understanding of what is fair and what is not. I have huge respect for my mother, and even if that lady had not been my mother, I still would have respected her as a person. That is what I mean. Few people are very close relatives of mine, but I hardly ever talk to them, because I do feel that they are not good enough to talk to. On the other hand, there are many people who are just acquaintances, but who have commanded a lot of respect from me over the years. Among them, a few of them are actually quite a few years younger to me. Eventually for me it is the person, and not his/her age or the relation we are into, which drives the depth of respect.
I have heard people who say that “I understand that my xxx relative has so and so defects, but I still love him/her deeply enough, and I cannot tolerate even a rude word directed at him/her, even though those words might be ultimate truth.” To me, such words are baffling. Some people keep defending the mistakes of their close ones. They just cannot accept the fact that right is always right and wrong is always wrong, no matter who it comes from. I understand that it feels bad when somebody chastises your loved ones, but you should also analyze the reasons for their doing so. Instead of defending their loved ones in public, some people should go and rectify their mistakes in the confines of a drawing room. Sometimes it works.
At the end of it all, I feel that nobody should be biased towards any relationship. If one feels that their loved ones are not doing the right thing, especially if they are repeating the same rudeness or mistakes in behaviour, then appropriate reactions should be given. Blind defense does not help anybody. Ultimately it is about shunning the path of evil and treading the path of truth. Parashurama killed his father, Krishna killed his cousin Shishupala in a packed court and Arjuna demolished the Kauravas almost single handedly in Kurukshetra. Hence, the sky would not crash on our heads if we go against some of our loved ones, who have forgotten what righteousness is all about.
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