Being Alone…..but not lonely…

Sometimes I get a feeling that staying alone is not as bad as people make it out to be. After passing out of IIT Delhi in 2007, I shifted to Bangalore for my first job. Prior to this I had never stayed absolutely alone, and was thoroughly excited at the prospect of doing so. However, after having stayed alone for 3 years now, I have come to realize that staying alone is not all that rosy after all.

If you do not have a group of people around you with whom you can share your thoughts, then even the most staid of personalities will find it very difficult to stay alone. That is why it is of utmost importance to keep yourself busy every time when your are staying alone – read novels, cook, meditate, watch movies, sing, listen to music, play outdoor sports, blog or chat on the net. Buy a nice TV for yourself, get a desktop, sleep on a cosy bed and learn some tasty cuisines to pamper yourself. This way you may be alone but you will never be lonely. Another distinct drawback while staying alone is when you do fall sick and have to visit the doctor yourself and get the medicines for yourself. That can be quite a painful experience. Fortunately I have not fallen sick too many times during these 3 years.

Having said all that, I would also say, that staying alone gives you ultimate freedom in life. You can chill out with friends for as long as you want to, eat and cook whatever you want to as there would be nobody to question you, and enjoy as much personal space for yourself as you can think of. It also makes you a very good financial manager. You know exactly how much you earn, how much you have to pay for rent, electricity bills, telephone bills and food expenses. You would not waste a dime on unnecessary lavishness. You also realise that it is the person who hangs in there, with all the ranting of the landlord, the unwashed clothes, the rotten tomatoes and the lonely nights with only the fan to give you company, who actually finds the answers to all the questions that life has to offer. You would learn to wash and iron your shirts on time, because there is no mom to listen to your tantrums, you would keep your house clean and dirt free and instil a sense of discipline for yourself and of course have an opportunity to reflect upon yourself at the fag end of the day.

Life is the best teacher that anybody that can get and one can only realise that when he is alone. It reduces dependency on others and you would have the confidence to take on life by the scruff of its neck. The essence of living alone is not freedom but the responsibility that it brings to the table along with the confidence to own one’s self.