A proposal to conduct a common entrance test for admission to all central universities at the undergraduate and post graduate level has been mooted. It seems that even senior ministers of our government are backing it. Irrespective of the specialisation that the student wants to adopt, the test would be same for every student and it would test aptitude skills.
Right now, there are some colleges which conduct entrance tests for admission to undergraduate courses, but they are strictly related to the specialisation being adopted by the student. This is in addition to the weightage that they give to 12th standard results. Although the importance of aptitude in modern day education cannot be overemphasized, still there are many students who have a special flair for a particular subject, especially languages, which they cannot reproduce in an aptitude paper. Hence if the new policy gets implemented, it is these students who would get affected and eventually lose out.
I guess that it would be very difficult for the universities to design a single aptitude paper that can test the cognitive abilities of students across so many disciplines and interests. Students opting for science or commerce backgrounds would be properly judged but I do really have my concerns for the language streams. The idea of a centralized and standardized admission procedure is a very prudent one, but I guess it has to be really fine tuned by the concerned authorities before being implemented. After all, we are talking about the careers of so many bright young minds which would be at stake.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Developing friendship in romance is very important….
Many of you would have heard the lines of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, when SRK says that “Pyaar dosti hai”, which means that “Love is nothing but the culmination of an extreme form of friendship.” This is so very true.
When they do fall in love, the first thing that most couples forget is the aspect of friendship in their relationship. Even I forget it sometimes. I have seen, and also heard that the best of couples, who stay together for 50 years or more or till one of them dies, are also the best of friends. There is no tension, tremendous honesty, no hiding of facts and lots of happiness around. Romance is an obvious corollary to such an ambience. Unfortunately what many couples do is exactly the opposite. They strive for romance, physical intimacy and fulfilling of expectations. That is why there are so many differences of opinion everywhere.
When I do speak to Kuhu just as my best friend, which she is anyway, I enjoy it tremendously. It gives me a feeling of completeness; it gives me a belief that nothing can ever go wrong between the two of us. We crack jokes like hell, we laugh, sometimes we also discuss serious issues, but the common factor is we completely open up to each other. However, whenever expectations take precedence over friendship, romance is lost in the process. There are heartbreaks, arguments and eventually protracted grief.
One would be amazed by the fact that a couple can get so close to each other emotionally if they compliment their romance by unconditional friendship also. I have witnessed this in my own relationship many a time. Today morning was one such instance when we talked about a hundred different topics, starting from films, family to my office and ultimately ourselves. We laughed all the way through. Such mornings make my day. This is the secret of happy companionship.
When they do fall in love, the first thing that most couples forget is the aspect of friendship in their relationship. Even I forget it sometimes. I have seen, and also heard that the best of couples, who stay together for 50 years or more or till one of them dies, are also the best of friends. There is no tension, tremendous honesty, no hiding of facts and lots of happiness around. Romance is an obvious corollary to such an ambience. Unfortunately what many couples do is exactly the opposite. They strive for romance, physical intimacy and fulfilling of expectations. That is why there are so many differences of opinion everywhere.
When I do speak to Kuhu just as my best friend, which she is anyway, I enjoy it tremendously. It gives me a feeling of completeness; it gives me a belief that nothing can ever go wrong between the two of us. We crack jokes like hell, we laugh, sometimes we also discuss serious issues, but the common factor is we completely open up to each other. However, whenever expectations take precedence over friendship, romance is lost in the process. There are heartbreaks, arguments and eventually protracted grief.
One would be amazed by the fact that a couple can get so close to each other emotionally if they compliment their romance by unconditional friendship also. I have witnessed this in my own relationship many a time. Today morning was one such instance when we talked about a hundred different topics, starting from films, family to my office and ultimately ourselves. We laughed all the way through. Such mornings make my day. This is the secret of happy companionship.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Hitting where it hurts most….
Revenge is highly condemned in civilized society. The holy books do not prescribe it either. However, man cannot put a leash on his instincts, no matter how cool headed he/she is. Some people take revenge instantaneously – like a word for a word, a slang for a slang or a slap for a slap. Some people wait for the opportune moment, which in some rare cases even takes years, but when they do come, give absolutely no room to the victim to recover. This is what I call “Hitting where it hurts most.”
There are many people who play with your emotions. They force you to become dependent on them through their deeds, and once you do get dependent, they ignore you. In the process you become cheap. Such things anger some people a lot. I have seen a person who had been going through exactly a similar situation, but he did not react initially. He absorbed all insults, and a few weeks later, turned the scenario upside down. The person who was giving him the pain was facing the pain this time, even to a greater extent.
The problem is however when the person who hurts you is very close to you. Sometimes in those cases you cannot hit back with a devil’s ferocity, but still I feel it is a shot worth trying. Revenge is not recommended at all, for you are always taught the virtues of tolerance and brotherhood by your parents. However, if you do decide to hit back some day after you have exhibited extreme tolerance, then do not react and shout. Plan, devise, contrive and then hit hard at the softest areas so that the other guy can really feel the pain and the insult that you had felt some day. God, please forgive me for saying so.
There are many people who play with your emotions. They force you to become dependent on them through their deeds, and once you do get dependent, they ignore you. In the process you become cheap. Such things anger some people a lot. I have seen a person who had been going through exactly a similar situation, but he did not react initially. He absorbed all insults, and a few weeks later, turned the scenario upside down. The person who was giving him the pain was facing the pain this time, even to a greater extent.
The problem is however when the person who hurts you is very close to you. Sometimes in those cases you cannot hit back with a devil’s ferocity, but still I feel it is a shot worth trying. Revenge is not recommended at all, for you are always taught the virtues of tolerance and brotherhood by your parents. However, if you do decide to hit back some day after you have exhibited extreme tolerance, then do not react and shout. Plan, devise, contrive and then hit hard at the softest areas so that the other guy can really feel the pain and the insult that you had felt some day. God, please forgive me for saying so.
The reticence of some people becomes suffocating, even irritating…
In one of my earlier posts, I had expressed an opinion that it requires skill to make people express themselves in front of you, especially those people who take their own sweet time to open up and get friendly. Since you have been gifted with a rare ability to make people speak their minds out to you, the onus is on you to do it, and you should enjoy doing it. I have tried all my life to do it, but gosh, sometimes it drives the hell out of me, and I feel like “To hell with them, I am not talking to those guys again in my life.”
As a person who expresses his feelings so naturally and effectively, and who tries to make people his own quickly, I feel so disgusted, irritated and angry when I see people persistently being unnecessarily formal in their interactions in personal relationships. Mind you, this is in spite of months of effort put in through light-hearted and jovial conversations so that they are comfortable with you. Just like they are getting to know me first time, I am also doing the same, but there are many people who just dump the responsibility of creating camaraderie to the other. The most they can do is smile when they see you in front of them. Is that enough to start a friendship of a lifetime? It is not unfortunately.
It is these fellows, most of who are well educated and “modern”, who do not make even an inch of effort to make you comfortable. The funny thing is, that your elders will always blame you for the fact that you have not been able to become friendly. This just prompts for all hell to break loose, especially if all good work has come from your side. I feel that there should be a limit of providing them with the ease and comfort of talking, and sometimes they should be made to feel uncomfortable as well. In that case they would get a taste of their own medicine. It should serve them well. Sometimes people are so used to getting undue importance that they are totally oblivious to their responsibilities. I think it is time to teach them a lesson or two in man management skills.
As a person who expresses his feelings so naturally and effectively, and who tries to make people his own quickly, I feel so disgusted, irritated and angry when I see people persistently being unnecessarily formal in their interactions in personal relationships. Mind you, this is in spite of months of effort put in through light-hearted and jovial conversations so that they are comfortable with you. Just like they are getting to know me first time, I am also doing the same, but there are many people who just dump the responsibility of creating camaraderie to the other. The most they can do is smile when they see you in front of them. Is that enough to start a friendship of a lifetime? It is not unfortunately.
It is these fellows, most of who are well educated and “modern”, who do not make even an inch of effort to make you comfortable. The funny thing is, that your elders will always blame you for the fact that you have not been able to become friendly. This just prompts for all hell to break loose, especially if all good work has come from your side. I feel that there should be a limit of providing them with the ease and comfort of talking, and sometimes they should be made to feel uncomfortable as well. In that case they would get a taste of their own medicine. It should serve them well. Sometimes people are so used to getting undue importance that they are totally oblivious to their responsibilities. I think it is time to teach them a lesson or two in man management skills.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Ability to communicate is always a boon…
Proper, clear-cut, timely and candid communication is a boon in every sphere of life, especially when things are not in favor of you. There are not many people around who are good communicators. There may be good speakers, but all good speakers are not necessarily good communicators. Communication to me is all about saying the optimum at the right place and the right time. Sometimes you have to go on talking for an hour to explain the perspectives, sometimes you can also just be silent and yet communicate.
Whenever I have faced friction in my love life, communication has not only seen me through, but it has also paved the way for a peaceful and happy future. Sometimes you have to explain things to people like a Montessori teacher, assuming that they are toddlers. The pain that you inflict upon yourself while doing this gives you the gain of a stronger relationship with that person whom you are talking to.
To communicate well, one has to be a clear thinker because clarity of words comes through clarity of thought. A soft tone, mental maturity and good prowess of language are obvious accessories, which however can never be taken for granted in an individual. However, in all this, I assume that the person in front of you is willing to understand and implement what you are saying. Otherwise every effort can be futile.
I am grateful to God that I have been blessed with reasonably good communication skills, although I keep myself open to improvement every time. Life teaches me a lesson every day, and I try to use those to sharpen my skills to understand people and address their issues through proper dialogue if they do require me.
Whenever I have faced friction in my love life, communication has not only seen me through, but it has also paved the way for a peaceful and happy future. Sometimes you have to explain things to people like a Montessori teacher, assuming that they are toddlers. The pain that you inflict upon yourself while doing this gives you the gain of a stronger relationship with that person whom you are talking to.
To communicate well, one has to be a clear thinker because clarity of words comes through clarity of thought. A soft tone, mental maturity and good prowess of language are obvious accessories, which however can never be taken for granted in an individual. However, in all this, I assume that the person in front of you is willing to understand and implement what you are saying. Otherwise every effort can be futile.
I am grateful to God that I have been blessed with reasonably good communication skills, although I keep myself open to improvement every time. Life teaches me a lesson every day, and I try to use those to sharpen my skills to understand people and address their issues through proper dialogue if they do require me.
You cannot stay alone forever…
In one of my earlier posts, I had written that how you can be alone and yet not be lonely. Well, that particular statement had a corollary, and that was, no matter how occupied you keep yourself, you can never be alone forever. There has to be an “expiry date” of staying alone. I have crossed that about 6 months back unfortunately.
When I was a kid and was amongst my mom, dad, brother and other relatives at home, I always used to feel that “Oh God, when can I start staying alone and have things done my way.” My dream came true when I was selected to an IIT five years back. I was literally jumping with joy at the prospect of seeing the world all by myself. Time passed, I had the time of my life in IIT for two years. I got a job in Bangalore and the dream continued. Till about six months back I was enjoying every bit of my solitude, but no more.
I write my blog, I surf, I sing, I cook, but I hate to stay alone. Gossiping around with friends does not interest me any more. Life has become abject and it seems that the days here in Bangalore have been left derelict. Intransigence has taken a strong grip on my temperament. I just hate compromising on any thing. Things change drastically however, when I do visit Kolkata and find my family on the horizon. I get back my usual jovial self, there is no rankle, and no carping. I enjoy life.
Probably the effect of staying all alone for so many years has taken its toll. There are people who stay all alone for a greater period of time, but for me I think the time has come to move out of this kind of lifestyle. It is good that somebody special is coming as a welcome addition to my life in two months time. Hope things change for the better.
When I was a kid and was amongst my mom, dad, brother and other relatives at home, I always used to feel that “Oh God, when can I start staying alone and have things done my way.” My dream came true when I was selected to an IIT five years back. I was literally jumping with joy at the prospect of seeing the world all by myself. Time passed, I had the time of my life in IIT for two years. I got a job in Bangalore and the dream continued. Till about six months back I was enjoying every bit of my solitude, but no more.
I write my blog, I surf, I sing, I cook, but I hate to stay alone. Gossiping around with friends does not interest me any more. Life has become abject and it seems that the days here in Bangalore have been left derelict. Intransigence has taken a strong grip on my temperament. I just hate compromising on any thing. Things change drastically however, when I do visit Kolkata and find my family on the horizon. I get back my usual jovial self, there is no rankle, and no carping. I enjoy life.
Probably the effect of staying all alone for so many years has taken its toll. There are people who stay all alone for a greater period of time, but for me I think the time has come to move out of this kind of lifestyle. It is good that somebody special is coming as a welcome addition to my life in two months time. Hope things change for the better.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Reactions to the honest confessions – The usual story….
This is in continuation to one of my earlier posts on “Confessions of a harmless mind.” After receiving her boyfriend’s email, which contained his innermost feelings of extreme intensity and romance, she pondered for quite some time on what should she reply to him. The day went on, the evening passed, she had dinner with her parents and younger brother (bhaiya) and then she thought that it was time for a befitting reply. She switched on her laptop; the internet took some time to get connected and then she started to pen down her email.
She wrote, “Hi, I can understand your feelings fully. However I do not think that you understand my feelings at all. It is true that we would get married in the near future, but it is an even bigger fact that my dad, mom and bhaiya are equally close to me, if not more, as you are. You have come into my life only for the past 5 months, but I have stayed with them, and grown up with them for the last 30 years. I appreciate the fact that you miss me a lot, but that does not stop me from loving my family one bit. You have to accept the fact that at the end of the day, I am THEIR child, not yours. You would never be able to show as much affection towards me as much as they do every moment, irrespective of how intense your romance is. Romance can never make up for parental and brotherly love.
I understand that you are emotionally dependent on me and expect a lot of love and affection from me. However, I am forced to say that I cannot give you anything more than what I am doing right now. I would always have my family duties to perform because that is what I enjoy doing. As far as you are concerned, it is partly true that I love you, but that does not mean that I would give you more attention than my family here. I know that it is sounding rude, but that is what the fact is. After we do get married, I know that I would be physically present with you all the time, and then I may be able to fulfill your expectations a bit more.
Even now, whenever I am finished with my family duties, I try to give the remaining time to you only. I have no other boyfriends here with whom I can share my free time. Please try to accept happily whatever little time you are getting from me right now. Mom, dad and bhaiya want to spend the maximum time with me because they fear that after marriage I may not get time to talk to them too much. I fully understand and appreciate their feelings and hence I take care of them a bit too much. I am sorry to say that I cannot stop my feelings from manifesting themselves. I hope you understand and I hope that you would not feel bad about it. Even if you do feel bad, I cannot help it because I cannot create happiness for you. Bye.
He read her reply. He was shocked. He was shattered. He could not believe what he had just read. He felt it was as stark and as ruthless as an email can be, especially from a person whom he had loved so deeply for 5 months. He sat dumbfounded in his bedroom. He was sweating profusely on a cool night. He decided to go for a walk outside. There was nobody to stop him or talk to him. It was 1 am in the night.
She wrote, “Hi, I can understand your feelings fully. However I do not think that you understand my feelings at all. It is true that we would get married in the near future, but it is an even bigger fact that my dad, mom and bhaiya are equally close to me, if not more, as you are. You have come into my life only for the past 5 months, but I have stayed with them, and grown up with them for the last 30 years. I appreciate the fact that you miss me a lot, but that does not stop me from loving my family one bit. You have to accept the fact that at the end of the day, I am THEIR child, not yours. You would never be able to show as much affection towards me as much as they do every moment, irrespective of how intense your romance is. Romance can never make up for parental and brotherly love.
I understand that you are emotionally dependent on me and expect a lot of love and affection from me. However, I am forced to say that I cannot give you anything more than what I am doing right now. I would always have my family duties to perform because that is what I enjoy doing. As far as you are concerned, it is partly true that I love you, but that does not mean that I would give you more attention than my family here. I know that it is sounding rude, but that is what the fact is. After we do get married, I know that I would be physically present with you all the time, and then I may be able to fulfill your expectations a bit more.
Even now, whenever I am finished with my family duties, I try to give the remaining time to you only. I have no other boyfriends here with whom I can share my free time. Please try to accept happily whatever little time you are getting from me right now. Mom, dad and bhaiya want to spend the maximum time with me because they fear that after marriage I may not get time to talk to them too much. I fully understand and appreciate their feelings and hence I take care of them a bit too much. I am sorry to say that I cannot stop my feelings from manifesting themselves. I hope you understand and I hope that you would not feel bad about it. Even if you do feel bad, I cannot help it because I cannot create happiness for you. Bye.
He read her reply. He was shocked. He was shattered. He could not believe what he had just read. He felt it was as stark and as ruthless as an email can be, especially from a person whom he had loved so deeply for 5 months. He sat dumbfounded in his bedroom. He was sweating profusely on a cool night. He decided to go for a walk outside. There was nobody to stop him or talk to him. It was 1 am in the night.
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