Some people are not as polite and humble as they pretend to be or as they are made out to be. For the sake of getting a job done, innumerable individuals change colors and adorn a canvas of a pseudo-character. As you get to know them better, you understand that they would use every weapon to pinch you if and when the opportunity arrives.
If you have been innocent enough to help them get over any trauma or weakness, then you may have done serious blunder. It may so happen that these people may use the same strength that they draw from you, to hurt you. By the time you realize it, it is too late. You regret, bite off your fingers, rage for revenge, but you are helpless. All promises, made in happy times, are thrown out of the window.
You feel that the person you had loved, respected and who had an endearing presence in your life, has transformed. In actuality however, you have been fooled left, right and centre. However, life goes on and you tend to accept everything with a smiling face and a strong heart. I guess this is what they call “adjustment.”
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Diwali has a special significance this time…
Deepavali, also known as Diwali, is going to be celebrated across the country tomorrow. The day itself would be different for me this time. Contrary to previous years, I would stay put in Bangalore itself, instead of going to Mysore at Tutu pipi’s place. This is also the first time in my life that a loved one has sent me an assortment of goodies for Diwali, all the way from Kolkata, as a token of love for me.
For me, the Festival of Lights has special connotations this time around, and its realization is slightly different from the previous years. The lights around always signify the enlightening of life with the rays of peace, prosperity and happiness. It also signifies radiance of the soul with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The light of the diyas is supposed to obliterate darkness from within ourselves. However, this time, it would also signify the light that would brighten up my life after Kuhu steps into it in just above two weeks time.
Married life is a two-edged sword. It has its share of bliss as well as its share of misunderstandings and adjustments. The light of knowledge, realization and patience is always a boon under such a situation and, to me, this Diwali signifies the advent of that light. I really wish that the light of tomorrow would symbolize the brightness that both of us would bring to each other’s lives hereafter.
For me, the Festival of Lights has special connotations this time around, and its realization is slightly different from the previous years. The lights around always signify the enlightening of life with the rays of peace, prosperity and happiness. It also signifies radiance of the soul with the light of knowledge and wisdom. The light of the diyas is supposed to obliterate darkness from within ourselves. However, this time, it would also signify the light that would brighten up my life after Kuhu steps into it in just above two weeks time.
Married life is a two-edged sword. It has its share of bliss as well as its share of misunderstandings and adjustments. The light of knowledge, realization and patience is always a boon under such a situation and, to me, this Diwali signifies the advent of that light. I really wish that the light of tomorrow would symbolize the brightness that both of us would bring to each other’s lives hereafter.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Respecting individuals, rather than relations is easier for me….
Over the years, I have always tended to love and respect individuals, but not relations. There are many people who do it just the other way around. If there happens to be a very close relative of mine, probably even a blood relation, who happens to have some serious drawbacks in behaviour and which I know is not good, I cannot develop any respect for him/her. The relation itself cannot command respect to me.
I am a man of principles and I feel that I do have a thorough understanding of what is fair and what is not. I have huge respect for my mother, and even if that lady had not been my mother, I still would have respected her as a person. That is what I mean. Few people are very close relatives of mine, but I hardly ever talk to them, because I do feel that they are not good enough to talk to. On the other hand, there are many people who are just acquaintances, but who have commanded a lot of respect from me over the years. Among them, a few of them are actually quite a few years younger to me. Eventually for me it is the person, and not his/her age or the relation we are into, which drives the depth of respect.
I have heard people who say that “I understand that my xxx relative has so and so defects, but I still love him/her deeply enough, and I cannot tolerate even a rude word directed at him/her, even though those words might be ultimate truth.” To me, such words are baffling. Some people keep defending the mistakes of their close ones. They just cannot accept the fact that right is always right and wrong is always wrong, no matter who it comes from. I understand that it feels bad when somebody chastises your loved ones, but you should also analyze the reasons for their doing so. Instead of defending their loved ones in public, some people should go and rectify their mistakes in the confines of a drawing room. Sometimes it works.
At the end of it all, I feel that nobody should be biased towards any relationship. If one feels that their loved ones are not doing the right thing, especially if they are repeating the same rudeness or mistakes in behaviour, then appropriate reactions should be given. Blind defense does not help anybody. Ultimately it is about shunning the path of evil and treading the path of truth. Parashurama killed his father, Krishna killed his cousin Shishupala in a packed court and Arjuna demolished the Kauravas almost single handedly in Kurukshetra. Hence, the sky would not crash on our heads if we go against some of our loved ones, who have forgotten what righteousness is all about.
I am a man of principles and I feel that I do have a thorough understanding of what is fair and what is not. I have huge respect for my mother, and even if that lady had not been my mother, I still would have respected her as a person. That is what I mean. Few people are very close relatives of mine, but I hardly ever talk to them, because I do feel that they are not good enough to talk to. On the other hand, there are many people who are just acquaintances, but who have commanded a lot of respect from me over the years. Among them, a few of them are actually quite a few years younger to me. Eventually for me it is the person, and not his/her age or the relation we are into, which drives the depth of respect.
I have heard people who say that “I understand that my xxx relative has so and so defects, but I still love him/her deeply enough, and I cannot tolerate even a rude word directed at him/her, even though those words might be ultimate truth.” To me, such words are baffling. Some people keep defending the mistakes of their close ones. They just cannot accept the fact that right is always right and wrong is always wrong, no matter who it comes from. I understand that it feels bad when somebody chastises your loved ones, but you should also analyze the reasons for their doing so. Instead of defending their loved ones in public, some people should go and rectify their mistakes in the confines of a drawing room. Sometimes it works.
At the end of it all, I feel that nobody should be biased towards any relationship. If one feels that their loved ones are not doing the right thing, especially if they are repeating the same rudeness or mistakes in behaviour, then appropriate reactions should be given. Blind defense does not help anybody. Ultimately it is about shunning the path of evil and treading the path of truth. Parashurama killed his father, Krishna killed his cousin Shishupala in a packed court and Arjuna demolished the Kauravas almost single handedly in Kurukshetra. Hence, the sky would not crash on our heads if we go against some of our loved ones, who have forgotten what righteousness is all about.
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Why do people respect me?
Sometimes I wonder that, if I had passed my Masters in engineering from another college, instead of an IIT, then how would life have treated me right now? Would I have commanded the same respect from society? Sometimes I also wonder that as a human being how good or bad I am actually. What are the three things that people respect me or love me for? Is it because I am an IIT ian, is it because of some of my individual qualities, is it just because I am the son of a very socially venerated and loved couple, or is it a combination of just everything?
My gumption has never given me a definitive answer to this question. I am not sure whether I should ever be thinking about such redundant issues, but a deeper dive into oneself obviously opens a can of worms inside the mind. A lot of questions keep cropping up that may not have a direct impact on daily life.
Irrespective of your actual nature, pragmatic diplomacy sees you through almost all of the time. However, the kind of attributes that civilized society looks for in an individual, to treat him with respect even when he is not any more, is what has enthralled me for quite some time. Being subservient would win you sympathy and love but would allow people to get on top of you very easily. Being pernicious does not help either. Temerity would help you to quell your competitors, but would create more enemies than friends. Smugness may win you adorations among one set of an audience but chastisement among another set.
Most attributes I just mentioned are contradictory to possess and hence confounding. The easiest thing to do however is to keep it simple, be good unconditionally, and, protest against evil in the rudest possible terms. Some questions have no answers and it is better if we do not search for them either. As long as we do not hurt people in any way anytime, we are fine. Rest I leave to God.
My gumption has never given me a definitive answer to this question. I am not sure whether I should ever be thinking about such redundant issues, but a deeper dive into oneself obviously opens a can of worms inside the mind. A lot of questions keep cropping up that may not have a direct impact on daily life.
Irrespective of your actual nature, pragmatic diplomacy sees you through almost all of the time. However, the kind of attributes that civilized society looks for in an individual, to treat him with respect even when he is not any more, is what has enthralled me for quite some time. Being subservient would win you sympathy and love but would allow people to get on top of you very easily. Being pernicious does not help either. Temerity would help you to quell your competitors, but would create more enemies than friends. Smugness may win you adorations among one set of an audience but chastisement among another set.
Most attributes I just mentioned are contradictory to possess and hence confounding. The easiest thing to do however is to keep it simple, be good unconditionally, and, protest against evil in the rudest possible terms. Some questions have no answers and it is better if we do not search for them either. As long as we do not hurt people in any way anytime, we are fine. Rest I leave to God.
Friday, October 29, 2010
Identify special talents within yourself and ignore illogical criticism…
Broadly speaking, there are two kinds of talents that any human being can possess in life. One is that of creative performances, which cannot be taught to anybody beyond a certain degree. These include fluent speaking and writing skills, skills of aptitude and intuition, skills of expression, skills of cleanliness and organization, skills of empathy and understanding and the skill to make people smile. Let us call these attributes Talent Type A.
In another type, you can teach a person to do a given thing in a particular way every time, and through hours or days of practice, he/she masters it. Such things include singing, dancing, driving a vehicle, operating any other machine or electronic gadget, cooking, solving mathematics problems in school, sewing, and building vocabulary in one or more languages. Let us call these attributes as Talent Type B.
If given a choice, I would always wish to possess the Type A talents, because you cannot master those even after years of practice and lecture. These are basically habits or caliber that any man is born with. I have also noticed another trend. You tend to get criticized more often for the lack of Type B talents. People who do the criticism fail to understand that, for example, a person who is not a good cook can become one in a few months of practice. However, a person who cannot express a given thought in proper words can never be taught to do so, no matter how much training you impart to him/her.
Sometimes in my free time, I reflect on what kind of criticism I have faced all throughout my life. At that point of time, I felt that those harsh words were justified because I was really weak in certain things. Now if that happens, I smile to myself, because those weaknesses have been converted into strengths after hours of dedication. Most of the time, if your are really talented then you would find that in the ultimate analysis, you possess most of both Type A and Type B talents, but the so-called “experts” can only boast of the latter.
However you should never react and tell them “Hey buddy, it’s a pity that you cannot write even a paragraph in English properly.” That goes against the culture of champions. This attitude of restraint and humility is what separates the good from the great ones. Besides, empty vessels tend to make more noise anyway, what is the big deal about it? The thing is they know that they can never be as good as you are, and hence they try to vent their frustrations by throwing harsh words at you. That’s the way the world lives day after day.
In another type, you can teach a person to do a given thing in a particular way every time, and through hours or days of practice, he/she masters it. Such things include singing, dancing, driving a vehicle, operating any other machine or electronic gadget, cooking, solving mathematics problems in school, sewing, and building vocabulary in one or more languages. Let us call these attributes as Talent Type B.
If given a choice, I would always wish to possess the Type A talents, because you cannot master those even after years of practice and lecture. These are basically habits or caliber that any man is born with. I have also noticed another trend. You tend to get criticized more often for the lack of Type B talents. People who do the criticism fail to understand that, for example, a person who is not a good cook can become one in a few months of practice. However, a person who cannot express a given thought in proper words can never be taught to do so, no matter how much training you impart to him/her.
Sometimes in my free time, I reflect on what kind of criticism I have faced all throughout my life. At that point of time, I felt that those harsh words were justified because I was really weak in certain things. Now if that happens, I smile to myself, because those weaknesses have been converted into strengths after hours of dedication. Most of the time, if your are really talented then you would find that in the ultimate analysis, you possess most of both Type A and Type B talents, but the so-called “experts” can only boast of the latter.
However you should never react and tell them “Hey buddy, it’s a pity that you cannot write even a paragraph in English properly.” That goes against the culture of champions. This attitude of restraint and humility is what separates the good from the great ones. Besides, empty vessels tend to make more noise anyway, what is the big deal about it? The thing is they know that they can never be as good as you are, and hence they try to vent their frustrations by throwing harsh words at you. That’s the way the world lives day after day.
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Forget the Olympic bid, nurture champions for the future…..
After a grand hosting of the Commonwealth Games (CWG) 2010, in spite of its innumerable administrative loopholes, India has set its eyes on bidding for the 2020 Olympic Games. The outstanding performances of many of its athletes further strengthen its confidence in doing so. However, put bluntly and blatantly, India is still not ready to bid for the Olympics.
The mess that we created in organising the CWG 2010, which is far less complex and gargantuan an exercise than the Olympics, clearly shows that the bidding would be a waste of time, energy and money. A solitary individual gold medal in 88 years of participation proves that it is imperative that we use all our resources to nurture champions for the London Olympics in 2012. The annals of Indian sports writing have been full of complaints about the system, corrupt administrators and lack of talent among athletes. Every four years, it has become a collective national ritual to blame everyone else when found exposed badly in front of the global mirror of the Olympics, only to move on and repeat the same catharsis four years later.
A bid for the Olympics, to me, is another step towards clapping our hands in glee and return to our daily dose of cricket once the euphoria recedes. We should look to use the medals won in CWG 2010 as a catalyst to help correct years of frustration at India’s poor sporting performances and result in the creation of sporting infrastructure for future generations of athletes.
The Asian Games 1982 which was held in Delhi unfortunately could not leave behind a positive legacy in terms of nurturing an all-pervasive sports culture in India. Against such a backdrop, the CWG should stand up and set an example. We do not need another mega event on Indian soil so quickly, but we do need a set of champions across all sporting disciplines over the next five years, so that people do not deride us when we do bid for the Olympics sometime after 2020.
The mess that we created in organising the CWG 2010, which is far less complex and gargantuan an exercise than the Olympics, clearly shows that the bidding would be a waste of time, energy and money. A solitary individual gold medal in 88 years of participation proves that it is imperative that we use all our resources to nurture champions for the London Olympics in 2012. The annals of Indian sports writing have been full of complaints about the system, corrupt administrators and lack of talent among athletes. Every four years, it has become a collective national ritual to blame everyone else when found exposed badly in front of the global mirror of the Olympics, only to move on and repeat the same catharsis four years later.
A bid for the Olympics, to me, is another step towards clapping our hands in glee and return to our daily dose of cricket once the euphoria recedes. We should look to use the medals won in CWG 2010 as a catalyst to help correct years of frustration at India’s poor sporting performances and result in the creation of sporting infrastructure for future generations of athletes.
The Asian Games 1982 which was held in Delhi unfortunately could not leave behind a positive legacy in terms of nurturing an all-pervasive sports culture in India. Against such a backdrop, the CWG should stand up and set an example. We do not need another mega event on Indian soil so quickly, but we do need a set of champions across all sporting disciplines over the next five years, so that people do not deride us when we do bid for the Olympics sometime after 2020.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Filtering out good moments of the past gives you bliss…
I had written in one of my earlier posts that a loving wife is God’s most precious gift. The reason for that is, not only does she shower you with love and affection, but she also gives you peace of mind and she boosts your self-confidence. One of the main ways that she does this so easily is by helping you to learn to filter out good moments of the past and remember them.
If you are able to it, then you would never be depressed in your life. You would not be jealous of the happiness of others, you would not frown unnecessarily at your wife, nor would you hamper your professional performance by staying grumpy. At the same time, you would create more happy moments for yourself and your family. So it is a win-win situation for you.
There are people like me who have used their sharp memorising skills in excellent fashion for academics and professional achievements. However, it is this same attribute that creates mayhem when you want to forget some bitter memories. This aspect has also been covered in one of my posts. However, there are not many fortunate people around who have the blessing of a fiancée like Kuhu, who is always trying to help me to get rid of bitter experiences and help me smile every time. The results are finally starting to show, and it is a feeling from within.
In few of the many days that we have spent together, there have been traces of misunderstandings here and there, as is common in any relationship. However the great thing is she has made me forget all that and keeps on reminding me only the sweet memories, the laughter and the jokes. I am slowly beginning to discover the secrets of true happiness, and that is all because of her untiring and fructuous efforts. She has been subservient in her presence but domineering in her impact, and that is where she has made herself special.
It is not that I never have a modicum of negative thoughts now, but I have definitely learnt to differentiate the diamond from the glass. It has given me bliss and peace of mind. I can now enjoy every moment, even the dull ones which would have normally angered me, with exuberance and remembrance of treasured experiences.
If you are able to it, then you would never be depressed in your life. You would not be jealous of the happiness of others, you would not frown unnecessarily at your wife, nor would you hamper your professional performance by staying grumpy. At the same time, you would create more happy moments for yourself and your family. So it is a win-win situation for you.
There are people like me who have used their sharp memorising skills in excellent fashion for academics and professional achievements. However, it is this same attribute that creates mayhem when you want to forget some bitter memories. This aspect has also been covered in one of my posts. However, there are not many fortunate people around who have the blessing of a fiancée like Kuhu, who is always trying to help me to get rid of bitter experiences and help me smile every time. The results are finally starting to show, and it is a feeling from within.
In few of the many days that we have spent together, there have been traces of misunderstandings here and there, as is common in any relationship. However the great thing is she has made me forget all that and keeps on reminding me only the sweet memories, the laughter and the jokes. I am slowly beginning to discover the secrets of true happiness, and that is all because of her untiring and fructuous efforts. She has been subservient in her presence but domineering in her impact, and that is where she has made herself special.
It is not that I never have a modicum of negative thoughts now, but I have definitely learnt to differentiate the diamond from the glass. It has given me bliss and peace of mind. I can now enjoy every moment, even the dull ones which would have normally angered me, with exuberance and remembrance of treasured experiences.
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