Candid and honest communication helps...

Articulate and honest communication, without cheating oneself and others can build sound relationships in one’s personal life and enhance career growth in one’s professional life. However, unwillingness towards the same, either mostly due to lack of intent and rarely due to lack of ability (not everyone is an articulate communicator) can ruin families, relationships and bonds forever. I have always believed in candid talking throughout my life. That has not necessarily earned me a procession of friends (my FB friend count is still pathetically low), but what I have earned is quality of friendship and the gift of honest opinions.


The only substantial mistake that I felt I have made is to expect people who are far lesser in pedigree to be as honest and candid as I am. There are scores of people around (they are a MAJORITY by 99:1) who commit to certain ideas, thoughts and opinions, but back out in the middle of execution, making honest and committed people feel hopelessly helpless. Disagreements, if present, should be articulated right at the top. Sometimes I feel that turbulence in conjugal life can be totally eliminated if both partners formulate an understanding of each other’s “soft” points – topics which elicit anger and irritation, communicate the same to each other in the most polite of ways and then execute it over a lifetime. After all this is what understanding is all about.


The same applies to other spheres of life also. Ethical correctness of certain feelings and opinions should be challenged, revoked or accepted right at the time when they are expressed. However, once accepted by the parties involved, “moral policing” should not happen. After 6 months, people should not come and say that “Hey buddy, are we doing the right thing? Is it morally correct? Are we hurting anybody else in the process? Can we keep sustaining it?” To me these irrelevant and stupid questions can totally get eliminated from the equation if we can somehow exhibit clear thinking. I believe most of us are educated enough and intelligent enough to do it.


Having said that, an important fact is, convoluted and confused people with their minds tied up into knots cannot think such clearly. Clarity in speech evolves from clarity of thought and some people are just not good at it. Even if they know what they should do, they cannot screw up enough courage to actually do it. Unfortunately, as I mentioned earlier, such people are the majority. We have to live with them!

You and I - 6

It had been almost a year since he got married. Things were going on as usual in the most bizarre way possible. She did not express her feelings in the way he wanted, his frustrations grew, she kept herself busy in other modes of entertainment in life and did not bother to oblige. The time they spent with each other had been reduced to a trickle. One day his anger spilled over. Voices soared; mobile talk-times shot through the roof and moods went haywire. It was a terrible saga of a damaged and dilated ego which fell flat on its face. Most importantly, it was also a sorry tale of an unfulfilled romance which was so intense that it charred everything else around including itself. Anger, pain and a feeling of being cheated and misunderstood blew the lid off any decency between the two. The relationship was as good as over. All good moments they had shared in the past, all sweet words that had been spoken to each other, the trust and comfort zone they mutually enjoyed in each other’s company and the feelings they had for each other were shattered that day. In the heat of the moment, he put question marks on the character of a woman he loved and respected so dearly. She clearly told him in blunt words not to interfere in her personal life anymore. He realized that it was a HUGE mistake, but the damage had been done. The worst thing was that in about 2 weeks’ time, both families were planning to meet up at a resort with some common friends. Nobody knew whether that would happen now or not, or even if it did how much they would enjoy it. All plans were in jeopardy. Even after all this, he put a lot of trust on her and hoped that she would come back with a smiling face quickly, as she had done a few times. However, deep inside, he knew that it might not ever happen again. The foundation of the relationship had been shaken. If at all, the entire building of love needed to be re-constructed. Would he have the patience to do it? Would she be forgiving enough to give the relationship another chance? Would they both be able to love each other so passionately as they used to before? The Almighty knew the answer.